10 Signs you are dating a player
It’s never too hard to spot a player… until you’re dating one, then it becomes a symphony of “oh maybe I’m being paranoid” and “I’m sure he likes me”.
Let me put the record straight. Is he good looking? Is he well dressed? Does the have a flock of attractive ladies around him at all times? Then he’s probably a player.
Still not convinced? Here are some player-busting tips, because life’s too short to spend it with someone who copies and pastes all the texts he sends you, to three other girls too.
1. He has two phones. Only two types of people need two phones: cheaters and drug dealers. Whichever category he falls into, it’s not good news my love.
2. Most of your conversations are about sex. A player will push for sex on the first date and usually he’s charming enough to get it. If he doesn’t get it, he’ll keep bringing it up, so you know how important a physical relationship is to him. He probably won’t even bother waiting for date number two before he asks you to “send him a pic” and when you don’t he’ll just keep asking again and again and again and (you get the gist..)
3. He goes to the gym more than twice a week. After all, a player is nothing without his body. A player without a Brad Pitt (circa 2004) type body, is just a horny chubby guy with abnormal amounts of confidence and trust me, the ladies panties aren’t flying off for those.
4. He spends more time looking in the mirror than at your face. If a guy spends more time getting ready than you do, he’s probably a player. The whole player psyche revolves around them being good looking (and knowing it!) Players are used to hearing how attractive they are, so if you want to try and break him of his vanity habit, make sure you hold back on those compliments. He’ll probably start digging around for them sooner or later and when he does, ignore that too.
If you’re not put off by the whole face-mirror obsession, then at the very least offer to pick him up for a date or two. That way you won’t have to deal with him using his rear view mirror to check himself out instead of the road every five seconds.
5. When answers his phone he takes the call into the next room. I’m not really sure if there are any exceptions to this rule. In the name of fairness I’m thinking we can excuse lawyers (murder trial related work calls are allowed to be taken in private) and also doctors (what with the whole doctor-patient confidentiality thing). Now, if the man you are dating is neither a lawyer nor a doctor, then his need to evacuate the room probably means he has something to hide. Even the sexual health clinic sends you texts these days, which leaves me to assume that if he wants to talk in private it’s probably to another girl. Sorry.
6. He always wants to meet up last minute, usually late at night. Men who always message you to meet up last minute, are men who like to keep their options open. Don’t play dumb ladies; I’m not talking about 4pm phone calls to arrange an impromptu dinner, I’m talking about 11pm texts for a late night drive or last minute movie at his.
7. He has more than one girls name tattooed on his body (and neither one of them is his mum).
8. All your dates involve alcohol. Well this one is kind of two sided because he could also be an alcoholic, but if that doesn’t seem the case, then I’m sorry he’s probably just trying to get you drunk. Men have worked it out (I don’t know who told them but I swear it wasn’t me) that after two glasses of wine, we’re just as naughty as they are.
9. All your dates are low budget. No guy is going to spend £60 on a steak when they could spend £6 on a happy meal. If he’s trying to impress you then he’ll want to take you somewhere nice, but if he already knows you’re impressed *insert arm flex here* then he just doesn’t need to try as hard.
Plus when you’re a player and you have dates every non-clubbing night of the week, all those steaks start to dent a serious hole in the wallet. If on a first date he takes you to Nando’s and gets you the quarter of a free chicken he earned with his stamps, coupled with the other 9 signs, he’s probably a player. If none of the other signs seems to be applicable then please contemplate that he might just be cheap.
10. You’re usually the one messaging him first. Girls always justify this with “but he’s always so friendly when he does reply”. If he likes you, he would have text you to secure that next date. If he’s letting you chase him, then he’s not that fussed. Guys in possession of the “plenty more fish” type attitude are usually the ones who already have a whole tank full of clown fish to choose from.
Plus the more they ignore you, the more likely you are to sleep with them on the second or third date in a bid to grab their attention back. I’m telling you, these players, they have it all figured out.