13 Ways To Get Over Your Ex
Many break ups are what we call “a long time coming”. Either your sex life is non existent, or you hardly see them… and if it’s neither of those things, then it’s the build up of constant arguments.
Then there are the shock break ups. The ones that you don’t suspect, that come along and hit you like a bus you didn’t see. These break ups are often enough to send the best of us to the brink of a slightly psychotic break.
But the fact of the matter is, no break ups are good break ups and most of the time the dump-er moves on a lot faster than the dumped. Because as many times as your friends tell you that “you’re better off” or that “they didn’t deserve you” or that “they didn’t treat you right” and as much as you nod and agree, all you’re really thinking is but I misssss themmmmm.
So if the pep talks from your besties aren’t working… what exactly does work, in the world of surviving a break up and coming out stronger? Well I’m glad you asked…
The pictures, the presents, the cards, the flower he made you out of tissue at that restaurant one night, the over-sized t-shirt you borrowed… all of it. Put it all in a box.
As for the photos on your phone, put them in a file inside a file inside another file somewhere on your laptop and delete them off your phone. You’ll never move on if reminders are everywhere.
Dye your hair the colour you’ve always wanted but couldn’t because they didn’t like it. Grow that bread that she was always complaining scratched her cheeks.
Get that tattoo they were discouraging you from. From this point on, no one has any input into your decisions but you. Whilst being newly single might suck for a little bit, there are also some serious perks, for example only ever having to worry about number one.
People throw around the word closure like it means something. As though the relationship ending isn’t enough to move on they seek answers, explanations and reasons. The thing is, you’re not likely to get them.
Sometimes, people break up without a particularly good reason and hassling them for a better one is likely to leave you with a cliche on your hands “I’m not in the right place right now” or “I need to focus on me right now”. Which is basically just polite talk for: It’s summer and I think I want to be single.
People who have been broken up with are so intent on contact. As though one perfectly worded text might change their mind or cause them to feel deep regret, but it rarely actually works.
What does work is silence. Because they’re never going to regret breaking up with you if you’re always just a text message away.
In fact don’t contact them at all. If they felt bad, they wouldn’t have broken it off in the first place.
Why is deleting someone’s number considered such a big step. You’re still their friend on Facebook, you stalk their Instagram daily, but you think deleting their number is essential in moving on? Well it’s not.
And even if you do delete it, 9 out of 10 times, you’d probably still hunt it down later in an old Whatsapp conversation and and re-save it. Plus, how on earth are you meant to know which number to avoid if they call.
Don’t delete. Keep it there; just don’t use it!
Don’t listen to late night Magic, don’t burn new car CD and while you’re at it avoid all James Morisson tracks. Music is a healer. Just not that type.
Because that is your God given right.
Over the course of every relationship, guys and girls vent to their respective friends, but there’s always a point where they stop. Something they don’t say. Something they know they could never reveal, because their response would be “well why the hell are you with them?!”
But now you’re not with them, you can let it all out. And I promise you, it will feel so good.
Please note, this isn’t permission to moan to anyone and everyone who will listen; find someone you trust and say what you have to say. Then have another drink.
You’re single now, and you’re going to need your body on top form if you’re going to get back in the game. Because even though you’re not ready for another relationship just yet, there’s nothing wrong with a bit of harmless flirting and dating.
Do remove all their friends from your social media. But keep your ex there, at least until after you’ve uploaded a bunch of hot holiday pictures of yourself.
It’s so easy to remember all the good things. Every box of donuts they bought you, every late night snuggling session, every time they looked after you when you were ill. What’s worse you take these tiny acts of kindness (which anyone else would consider the bare minimum from a partner) and make them huge gestures of romance.
So instead of focusing on all the good times you’ll never have again, best to focus on the bad ones. And trust me, you’d be lying to yourself if you said there weren’t any.
The stage after sad is angry. And dysfunctional as it sounds… that’s a much better place to be. Angry at the way they broke up with you, angry at all the things they took for granted and angry at a whole bunch of other things, you forgot to be angry about before, because you were so busy being in love.
No one ever moved on from a terrible break up by sitting at home watching box-sets on Netflix. By all means, do that too. But then get up, put on something tight and toast to a long hot summer of single fun.
It may have been forced on you, but hell, that doesn’t mean you can’t make the absolute most of it.