15 Life Hacks To Looking Good In A Bikini
The season of summer bodies, swimwear and tight clothing is upon us. The pool parties have started, summer holiday’s are getting booked and worst of all, you can’t walk into a high street shop without coming face to face with the dreaded bikini.
Endless months of “the diet start tomorrow” talk, coupled with a few half-hearted “maybe I should join the gym” comments. Then, before you know it, it’s 3 weeks to go until you need to somehow get your body into a bikini without looking like Ariels slightly chunkier sister.
Well, all is not lost my friends, put the Tankini down and make some notes, because help is on the way:
Yes and the KFC too. You can get back to eating that bad boy after you’re managed to fool everyone into thinking you’re the next Jessica Alba.
Classic girl thinking: “I wish I was a size 8, therefore I will just buy a size 8 and somehow force myself into it”. Here’s the deal, if it’s too tight, it will make you look bigger than you actually are because it’s squeezing you in all the wrong places.
If you want to look hot in a bikini, buy a bikini that actually fits… simple.
When it comes to weight, my motto is: if you can’t get rid of it… hide it. A sexy one piece with cut outsides does wonders for hiding that unwanted belly.
The quickest short cut to looking good in little (or no) clothes is by working out. And yes, it is acceptable to join the gym for 3 weeks, rock a bikini and then pay the remaining 11 months and 1 week membership without ever stepping foot in there again.
They say that all hot girls, hang out with less attractive friends, to make themselves even more appealing. Now I’m not sure if this is true or not (or morally right for that matter) but I’m just putting the idea out there. What you choose to do with this information is up to you.
Everyone looks better after a tan, a wax and a bit of exfoliation. Any woman with enough self confidence can pull off a few extra pounds, but unwanted hair and dry skin is something that no one can make look sexy. (Sorry Conchita).
If you’re feeling particularly cheeky, you can even go as far as to draw some subtle abs on with some lip liner, though careful not to jump in the pool or your muscle definition will end up smudged around your hip bone.
When in doubt: squat. Because when it comes to bottoms, there’s no such thing as too perky (though Kim Kardashian is close).
Avoid salt up to 3 days before your bikini debut. It bloats you (apparently) and well, I’m sure we can all survive 3 days without a trip through McDonald’s drive through.
I don’t mean that in the “stop stressing about how flat your stomach is and go have fun” kind of way. I mean actually, let it down. Long hair distracts and covers all manner of sins.
Mostly to reward yourself for all those squats you did earlier and partly because it will dehydrate you and you’ll wake up slightly smaller than when you went to bed.
That’s just the beauty of being a woman. And if you don’t have the double D’s to pull this off, then I have three words for you: padded bikini top.
Alcohol makes everyone believe they’re sexier than they actually are. Have a cocktail and you’ll go from Marge Simpson to Jessica Simpson in no time. If there’s a guy around that you particularly like, suggest he have a cocktail too, that way he’ll witness your transformation too.
13. And don’t forget, if you’re taking any pictures stand tall and suck it in. (Oh don’t look at me like that, we all do it)
Because no one will remember what you looked like on the day, they’ll just remember what the pictures tell them.
After all, you deserve it.
There’s more to life than looking good in a bikini. But since summer’s coming, it’s a good place to start.