The 5 Most Annoying Things People Do
We all have the occasional weird habit we just can’t seem to shake. Personally, I am a socket turner off-er (don’t quote me on that, as that might not be the official term). I am also a victim of volume even-numberism (also known as they annoying in-ability to watch TV if the volume is on an odd number) a common and very much recognised condition.
Its human nature to have the occasional quirk and at large I think our own individual weirdness makes us all the more unique. That being said, not every annoying habit is socially adorable or even acceptable.
Here are 5 of the worst you should all stop doing immediately, if not sooner:
1. The Duck Face:
seriously. Did you know there are actual articles online targeted to helping you in achieving the perfect ‘duck face’? Made all the more terrible by the fact that one in three people reading this article will probably later proceed to Google and use them.
There’s no doubt in my mind that the blame falls on Derek Zoolander, but I suppose even he couldn’t suspect that modern society was gullible enough to believe posing like a platypus would actually make you really really ridiculously good-looking.
The only time the duck face is socially acceptable is when you’re 12* and you’re doing it with the aid of two Pringles (*or drunk). How is this more acceptable you wonder? Because the chances of anyone then taking a picture of this and then making it their Facebook & Twitter profile pictures are slim to none.
There aren’t enough words on a page to go into the whole Duck Face fiasco so I’ll summarise: you all look stupid, stop it.
2. #Overuse #Of #Ridiculous #Hashtags: #See #you #hate #me #a #little #bit #already #don’t #you?
I get it, by logical terms having too many hashtags is still less embarrassing than a selfie with no likes, but my God learn to draw the line. It’s not just quantity I’m talking about either.
When people use hashtags to describe themselves as #hot #sexy and #goodlooking only one word comes to my mind and that’s #douche. You might think you’re looking good but the rest of the world will be the actual judge of that thanks.
To avoid further confusion here are some insta-tags you should all stop abusing: #boy #girl #beautiful #follow #followfollowfollow #tagsforlikes #instalike #likeforlike and #nofilter especially when we can all see you used a bloody filter anyway.
3. Telling people you’re “soooo drunk” (especially after two drinks).
We get it, you’re out having a good time and in order for you to maximise the amazingness of your night you need to make sure everyone knows about it.
Here’s a tip for you however, drunk people, truly drunk people don’t have time to update their Facebook status to tell everyone how ‘wasteeeddd’ they are. They don’t have time to text everyone in their phone books about their inebriated states, in fact most of the time they don’t even know where their phones are. You want to see a true drunk person, you give my best friend 5 shots of Sambuca and then spend two hours searching for her whilst she naps in a club toilet cubicle.
Drunk or sober, there’s little more annoying on a night out than the person who won’t stop telling everyone how many drinks they’ve had. If you want to show everyone what an amazing time you’re having then spend less time drink counting and more time actually enjoying yourself.
4. Asking For Follow-backs: both awkward and annoying.
Asking someone to follow you is about as acceptable online as it is in real life. A follow-back is a big commitment, one of mutually accepted e-friendship. Following someone online is like signing up to read the novel of their life on a daily and often grammatically incorrect basis.
Personally, I am selective about who I follow on Twitter; not because I’m a follow back snob but because life is too short to spend it reading boring Twitter updates.
So asking for a follow-back from someone who has deliberately chosen to wait for the paperback edition of your memoirs is like asking someone to invite you to their birthday. They weren’t going to, but now you’ve gone and bought it but they feel like they haven’t got a choice.
Unlike the birthday party scenario however e-friends are much easier to ignore in such awkward situations. If this is all sounding a little too familiar then licking your virtual wounds and moving on would be the most acceptable thing to do. For the record tracking that person down on Facebook and sending them an inbox message to ask why they’re not following you on Twitter is the unacceptable thing to do.
5. Talking About Celebrities Like They’re You’re Friends.
These days Z-listers are the new A-listers and they come with a fan base all of their own. The nation’s obsession with just about anyone who has made it on TV once has meant that the Made in Chelsea cast are more famous than Madonna these days.
I suppose the Z-list celebrity is much more attainable and the close proximity to them has made everyone a little crazy. I get it, if you’re in Essex you might see Lauren Pope, if you’re in Chelsea you might see Binky but they only place you’re seeing Madge is on the next cover of Elle magazine.
In much the same way that getting retweeted by One Direction is unlikely to get you the position of their 6th member, if you meet Mark Wright in a club, the chances of you becoming the next girl on his arm are only ever so slightly less slim than they would be if he were George Clooney.
Resent articles identify that there is an actual condition called CWS (Celebrity Worship Syndrome) and talking about Justin Beiber like he’s your best buddy is just the scary start of it. I suppose if you’re allowed to dislike people you know, then you’re allowed to like people you don’t; so long as you remain fully aware that buying their latest album does not in any way make you their acquaintance.