5 Reasons Why Family Guy Killed Off The Wrong Character
They did it… they actually did it. The writers of Family Guy killed off Brian Griffin, which I’ll be honest felt a little bit like they got in their car and personally ran over my dog. My martini drinking, sarcastic bastard of a dog.
To summarise my exact reaction to the news, it went a little like this:
STAGE ONE: Horror
STAGE TWO: Anger
STAGE THREE: Self pity
Stage four of course was to write a detailed article as to why the brains behind Family Guy have messed up (yeah I’m talking to you Steve Callaghan). Stage five will probably be printing said article off, laminating it, marching right up to Family Guy HQ, only to be escorted out of the building before I can shove it in anyone’s face.
Anyway here goes.
1. Stewie will most likely never learn the proper pronunciation of Cool Hwhip.
As the only character who we’re certain can understand Stewie, Brian is the only one who could have saved him a life of mispronunciation before it’s too late. As it stands, Stewie is likely to grow up believing Whip really does have two H’s in it.
2. He was the only character who could make a banana suit look sexy.
Yes I said it. The peanut butter jelly dance was sexy and you all know it. Not quite as sexy as the episode where Peter wore hot pants and a crop top… but still up there.
3. He makes us feel like being drunk on Martini’s at 1 in the afternoon is acceptable.
And we like that… really we do. Couple that with the failing career and the shallow attraction to anyone with a good body and what can I say, Brian Griffin gets us and we get him too.
4. he does all the things we all WISH we could
Like shout at crying babies, make fun of stupid people and openly stare at Lois’s boobs.
5. He’s the only member of the house who can really sing.
Whilst I’m not the biggest fan of musical episodes, I will say that Brian’s performance of “bag of weed” touched so many avid Family Guy fans on a deep and emotional level. I suppose his performance with Frank Sinatra JR. wasn’t bad either.
With Brian and his musical talents both being dragged to the grave, I suppose the most we can hope to get musically from Family Guy is another rendition of Peter’s The Bird Is The Word. Maybe next time he’ll go acoustic.
For those of you who, like me are not taking the death of Brian Griffin within their stride, I leave you with the ever relevant words of the man himself:
Of course the conspiracy theorists are already at work, predicting that this is all a ruse and that Brian will be back (around Christmas time to be exact). But just in case they’re wrong (as I have heard on occasion they tend to be) I will end with RIP Brian Griffin.
We all wished it was Meg.