5 Steps To An Easy Breakup
Before considering how to break up with a boyfriend it’s important to establish the “conditions” of a break up first. For example, if the scenario is that he’s been a complete ass, if he has cheated or lied to you, then you are fully entitled to create as much of a scene as you like, in fact I fully encourage it!
Throw his clothes out of the window of your shared apartment, change the locks so he can’t get back in or in true Eastenders style, throw a drink over him in a pub. Make sure he’s got the message and then just be doubly sure add an extra sprinkle of humiliation.
However, break ups are not always that simple. You may just have come to a point in your life where you feel you need a change, something different; you’re not the same person you were two years ago and as a result your relationship isn’t the same as it was two years ago either. So how do you go about letting him down gently?
Well my first and perhaps most obvious tip would be not to do it by text. If you’re tempted to pick up the phone to avoid any actual human interaction, just try to think of the last great gift he got you or the last sweet thing he said. He obviously cares about you so surely you owe him a face-to- face explanation or at the very least a conversation over the phone. My friend dumped her ex-boyfriend over text, whilst she was sat in a lecture on cell biology, trust me, it didn’t go down well.
Tip number two: don’t do it in a public place. When dumping its best to avoid other people. It will be less embarrassing if there are less people around to witness this potentially traumatic occasion.
Go somewhere neutral and empty. Ok so going your local McDonald’s Drive Through after dark to carry out the dreaded deed amongst empty chip packets and fat pigeons may not seem the classiest of moves but at least it’s relatively empty.
Neither of you will have any emotional ties to the place and you can comfort eat your way through a large Big-Mac meal to make yourself feel better afterwards, win-win!
Tip number 3: So we’ve covered the method and the setting, so let’s move on to the actual way to tell your partner you’re just not meant to be together anymore. Avoid using clichés, such as: it’s not you it’s me or we can still be friends, it’s tacky. Try and be honest and explain how you truly feel, it may be difficult but you’ll thank yourself for it later and your partner will appreciate your honesty more.
More importantly, if you’re not careful they might actually take you up on your offer and try to be friends with you and trust me nothing ruins your newly single mojo on a Friday night like an ex-boyfriend bodyguard.
Tip number four is more of a general rule or guideline. Basically you can’t break up with your other half over Christmas. Sorry folks, but if you haven’t sorted yourself out by the time the decorations have gone up, then you’re stuck with them for the festive period. You can’t leave someone alone over Christmas it’s like kicking a puppy. So suck it up and enjoy doing all the sickly sweet things couples do at this time of year. That’s right prep yourself for flurries of mistletoe, joint gift shopping trips and decorating. Maybe next time you’ll be more organized.
My fifth and final tip for breaking up with someone would be to do it quickly. Not talking so fast that all they can catch is a blur of jumbled words, but get straight to the point. Don’t faff about, channel you’re inner Jennifer Lawrence and tell it like it is. If it’s not working it’s not working explain this clearly and coherently.
Then go and have fun and enjoy the freedom of being single; after all the effort you’ve put into the break up you definitely deserve it.