A paupers guide to clubbing in London - Xclusive TouchXclusive Touch
suit club owner boss suave tuxedo tie

A paupers guide to clubbing in London

It’s common knowledge that living in London can be a hit on your wallet, particularly when it comes to taking advantage of the nightlife the capital has to offer.

For many young Londoners the cost of living means that they employ several creative methods to getting drunk, whilst maintaining a form of self dignity…that means no Diamond White or K.  Your uni days are behind you my friend.

Befriend the bar staff


Getting to know as many bar staff as possible  is a sure fire way to wake up the next time wishing you knew fewer bar staff. Having been on both ends of this set up I can assure you of one thing; these guys have given up their night to serve you and their going to make sure you drink enough to sedate an adolescent Rhinoceros.

Having worked in bars for the past two years I’ve learned some things in my time, primarily that it’s no fun to be stood watching your mates drunk off their ass dancing around. Conversely, there are few things funnier than seeing them arm in arm singing to every song they hate. Bless, alcohol makes dicks out of us all.

Your mate behind the bar is a valuable ally in the war against over paying to get drunk. I advise that you keep him or her onside at all times. When you get a treble instead of a single, you’ll know what I mean.

This could be taken one of two ways...

This could be taken one of two ways…

Knowing the Promoter

The promoter is the club equivelent of your ‘friend’ working in the bar. With it being a lot harder befriending a bar staff in a loud and busy club. Promoters come in handy often discounting entry fees or even cutting them out full stop. Getting to know the right one might even mean free drinks in one of the hottest clubs in London.

Steady now, ladies, I know frugality isn’t your biggest aphrodisiac but just simmer down.

Knowing the owner 

suit club owner boss suave tuxedo tie

If you hadn’t figured this one out then I’m afraid theres probably no hope for you. This is probably the most straightforward and, ultimately, ego inflating way to turn up on a budget. It also serves to give people that most dickish of lines come 4am as they obliviously proclaim to everyone that’ll listen, “MATE, I know the owner.” Terrific, is there anyone else you know? Prince Charles? The Pope? Kanye? Just shut up.

Still, this douchebag shouting about his importance has probably gotten so fucked  on free/cheaper drinks that you’re more envious than genuinely annoyed. Still, don’t be a jerk. You know the owner, now fuck off to his/her table.

There we have it, the three best ways to be able to drink out on the cheap. It ain’t easy but with a bit of imagination you’ll be able to erase the memory of that cheap cider from your life and emerge the other toasting life with your new friends other a glass of champagne.



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