Amazingly Creative Underground Joke Signs Surface - Xclusive TouchXclusive Touch

Amazingly Creative Underground Joke Signs Surface

Personally, I try to use the underground as little as possible. Part out of a desire to say “Fuck you, TFL!”, part due to the excruciating price of the tube and part owing to me not being the biggest fan of finding myself lodged firmly within some suit’s armpit as he loudly talks about the FTSE and other dreadfully important things.

If anything sheds a little light on those subterranean journeys then it should be considered to be a gift from above. To my delight, something exactly along these lines has come along to give us a ray of sunshine while we’re underground.

Some kind soul has created fake underground stickers that reflect the brutal reality that is the world’s oldest subway system. There’s a tumblr page devoted to around 30 of these bad boys and they’re all brilliant.

To save you the time of trawling through all of them, here’s the 15 best signs that just get how rubbish the underground really is.

no sitting

You can imagine it’s only a matter of time until this becomes the truth…


If you’ve ever crossed your gaze with that of a banker who has had a bad day or someone of ill repute, you’ll completely understand this one. Still, wouldn’t it be great if we were all just friends?


Have you ever been to the Natural History Museum? There’s a display on the giant sloths of yesteryear. This is what I imagine they were referring to.


We’ve all thought this at one point or another. Snake charmers are just downright irresponsible practicing their trade on a public transport system.


Do you really think the driver would poor gravy on your sausages? On second thought, that sounds pretty wrong…


If the English language is great for just one reason, it’s the allowance we’re prepared to afford any phrase to mean drunk.


Nothing says classy like a top hat and walking stick.


Gas Mark 4 in Zone 2 London.


I hate to be THAT guy, but if you’re bowel problem constitutes being described as ‘explosive’, why did you even leave the house?


It’s completely up to you to decide which out these three the worst of the bunch is. It’s not courteous to forget your deodorant in the morning though, kids.


I’d advise disembarking at Leytonstone, giant spiders inhabit all areas beyond. Not for the faint of heart.


If you think the Queen’s getting the tube, you’re a fool.


Oxford Street is a nightmare on any day of the week. If anything, Elm street seems a bit tame.


If you hadn’t figured this one out, you will be getting your oyster card revoked effective immediately.


Who knows? You might end up meeting that special someone. A slightly unorthodox love story but who cares.

It’s little pieces like this that make London the city it is. For all the problems it may have, there are still people who will go so far out of their way to make it look this completely and utterly ridiculous that it renews your faith in humanity daily. Hopefully, we’ll see plenty more of these instalments around the capital in the future.

Maybe next time they could hit up black cabs, the London eye or Boris bikes? Just an idea but I’m sure they could be far more adventurous in their misdemeanours than I could hope to be.



Have your say