BBC THREE Is Getting Axed – Should We Even Care?
BBC THREE has been running for a little of 10 years now and has acted as the background noise to countless of teens and young adults nights in. Flicking between E4, ITV2 and BBC3 is pretty much how most of us spend a night in front of the Tele. It would seem as though that is all set to change with the Beeb announcing that it will be axing Channel 115 for all you Sky viewers.
Celebrities such as Matt Lucas, Jack Whitehall and Russell Kane have all been vocal in support of this channel. Call me a cynic but it might of course just be because it’s the channel that most of their shows are aired on.
Losing BBC THREE wouldn’t actually be that much of a bad thing and here are my reasons why.
1) I’ve Seen Family Guy & American Dad Nearly A Million Times Now
If you’re genuinely not sick of seeing Peter running in the rain with William Shatner or ‘Stan of Arabia’, you clearly have no self-worth. These episodes are stale and you probably have them on some scratched DVD that you couldn’t be arsed to put back in the box, discretely tucked down the back of your sofa. If your only reason for being upset about BBC3 is Seth MacFarlane’s brainchildren, you need to sort your shit out.
2) It’ll Kill The Careers Of Shit comedians like Lee Nelson.
I’m not 12, I don’t find the whole “chav” persona that funny. As for his fat mate and getting his nan out, this guy is from the same country that produced Monty Python and we’re laughing at him? Come on, Britain, sort it out.
3) Greg James Will Have To Stick To The radio.
Probably the thing that makes me the happiest about the axing of BBC3 is that Greg James will have nowhere to display his proud array of Topman shirts and punchable face. Ellie Goulding’s career has done as much for her as for her ex, he’s done pretty well off being that guy the Goulding dumped.
4) We’ll Never Have To Watch Another Stacey Dooley Documentary Again.
She’s objectively awful. Her stream of ‘investigative journalism’ has been perpetually dire since 2009 and has shown little to no sign of getting any better. I, for one, would support any television station that puts this documentary series off the air for good. She’s a likeable enough woman but her documentaries just aren’t really much of anything.
5) Don’t Tell The Bride Might Get Its Funeral.
Again, still very disappointed in the majority of the Great British populous for this having the longevity that it has done. Somewhere in Springfield, Comic Book Guy is proclaiming it to be the “Worst. Series. Ever.”
6) We Won’t Be Able To Watch Teens Make Ill-Advised Life Choices In Shagaluf Anymore.
For too long Sun, Sex and Suspicious Parents has been documenting, poorly, what British teenagers do when they go abroad and continue our colonial domination of places like Greece and Spain. It’s been a rollercoaster ride but we’re hopefully coming to the end of these shit stories about shit people.
7) Gavin & Stacey Was Never That Good.
Face it, anything with James Corden in is likely to be 20% worse due, mainly, to the presence of James Corden. It wasn’t as funny as you remember it being. One person on Twitter described it as being arguably the best British comedy of an era, I would greatly like to argue with that shmuck.
8) You Have A Computer! Watch It All Online DUH
This one is pretty self-explanatory. It’s the 21st century and, while I certainly wouldn’t be so brash as to condone such things, there are one or two ways of watching things online. Netflix has pretty much all of the BBC3 shows in its banks so there’s hours of mind numbing TV there to watch, anyway.
9) Did Anyone Really Pay Attention To Those 60 Second News Clips?
What a load of shit. Every night you’d get told a tiny bit about some stuff that was going down somewhere and some way. You’ve probably got Twitter, you already knew all of that.
10) You might have to read before bed.
I know, this is a bleak scenario. Having to pick up your kindle or an actual book feels weird and alien, I believe in you. This is something you can do. Read instead of watching this mind numbing nonsense. Or watch House of Cards on Netflix, that shit will have you gripped.