Bitch Please: 8 of the most annoying girls on social media
As if it wasn’t hard enough for a girl to be funny yet polite, witty yet charming, hot yet not too much that it begins to get uncomfortable every time you step out the house. It would seem that now we have to think about all of this on Facebook! Knowing the fine line between those all important boundaries of cool and loser just became even harder as you might actually be getting it all wrong for the world to see. After getting the heads up from some experts in the field (hot single men), here’s what they had to say about the worst things us girls do online.
1. Happy to be single – or desperate to prove it?
Your third status of the day telling all your Facebook friends that you’re so happy to be single and “loving life 2K14 style” just hanging with your girls – every day for the rest of your life. The reality is you’re sat at home for the third day in a row, Ben & Jerry’s in Hand, Sex in the City boxset on, contemplating life as an official cat/bag lady. When single, especially recently single, leave the constant admiration for your girls well alone.
2. One check in too many?
Checking in to everywhere you’ve been that day is a big no no, especially when one of them happens to be your own bedroom. If we wanted to stalk you we’d do it James Bond style, not by checking your Facebook.
3. A VERY carefully selected pose
The official name for such pose – The ‘Arm Triangle of Insecurity’. You may know it, you may see it on your news feed often, you may even see it on your profile picture or maybe even right now as you’re about to snap your next selfie. STOP THAT RIGHT NOW. Don’t go thinking that no one else knows about that secret cheat way to look your slimmest. We all do, and we are not fooled.
4. Party Girl or Pisshead?
That photo of you rolling around on the floor in the aftermath of another night out or dancing on a bar for the third time that week may give the impression that you are a wild, fun loving, party girl who loves to have a good time! On the other hand it could be one tequila shot away from the local pisshead staggering around in search of their next cheap bottle of cider.
5. Trying a little too hard to be ‘one of the lads’
Unless you really are a professional player, Olympic athlete, season ticket holder since birth the advice from the boys is to leave well alone from all sports debates, events or commentary. The consequences of not doing so is Facebook ridicule and a few less date invitations.
6. I’m just so damn hot, that the world has to know…
It must be so hard being a 6ft tall, ridiculously toned, glamazon who also happens to be a Victoria Secret Supermodel getting hit on left, right and centre. Seriously, poor you.
7. Keep it private
Those conversations between your nearest and dearest that you can, and certainly should use the phone for, shouldn’t be out there in the digital Universe. We as your Facebook friends don’t need to see pages and pages of conversation between you and whoever is more than likely sat right next to you.
Sometimes you just gotta know, when enough’s enough. We aren’t interested in that low fat Subway you had for your lunch, or what your thoughts are on the weather, or if it’s your ‘time of the month’ (yep, we’ve all seen it!) Keep it classy people, and keep it quiet!