Can you forgive and forget?
Love & Lust
Can you forgive and forget?
A relationship isn’t a test so why cheat? Actually it is, and if you cheat and get caught you have failed and get kicked out. If you have cheated and haven’t been caught can you continue in your relationship built on a web of lies? Web being the key word because eventually you will find yourself all caught up being approached by a black widow!
Why are women willing to accept men cheat, forgive them for it, and take them back? Is a question many of us wonder. It’s also a question we will never know the answer to or understand; unless we unfortunately find ourselves in it.
If like me one of your guilty pleasures is indulging in TOWIE and MIC then you will all be aware its back on our screens. Towie’s new season started off in Vegas where we were updated with Charlie Sims’ infidelity to then girlfriend Ferne. After having admitted he has slept with over twenty women since her, she is still seen crying over him, ringing him and it looks like she wants to get back with him. That left many of us confused and probably frustrated.
What is cheating and what is defined as cheating?
I believe that a person’s definition of what they constitute as cheating is in direct proportion to how much they themselves want to cheat. Some people believe “resisting temptation” deserves a reward. I find if you are happy with what you have nothing is a temptation, and if you find you have to resist such “temptations” maybe you should re-evaluate what you have. So lets look at what can be considered as cheating and how likely you are inclined to forgiving them for the act mentioned.
On a Scale of 1-5, 1 being a no going back 5 being punishable but not all ties are cut:
Texting/calling (basically getting to know each other on a personal level):1/2
Flirting via social media:2
Flirting in person:1
Going out on dates:1
Sex (one night stand): -1000000
Sex (continuously): -15584588458
So as you can see nothing you do that involves someone who isn’t in the relationship qualifies as 5. But this is based solely on me and my social crowd. I think different people are willing to accept different things.
Social media plays a noticeable role in causing arguments and breakups. Has it made it easier for people to cheat? To be fair if someone isn’t happy or has wondering eyes they are going to find a way to be unfaithful regardless. However, with apps such as instagram and twitter it has brought it beyond their doorstep. Its brought it to their bed theoretically and literally speaking.
When is it ok to forgive and forget?
Are there really circumstances where it’s acceptable to stay/get back with a partner that betrayed you. Never having been in the situation myself I can only answer on how I would like to react and I am sure I am not alone when I say that I am guilty of visioning how the scene would pan out if I ever caught my other half with someone else. Would I blow up or be dignified and walk away. I am not ashamed to admit I am insanely jealous when it comes to my partner. So I could never live happily with him if he was ever unfaithful, if I did stay with him I would make our lives miserable going over it every time I was not occupied and bringing it up whenever I remembered. I know my head could never fully forget even if my heart wants to forgive.
Questions and factors to consider before staying/getting back together with a cheater
Why are you staying/ why are you reuniting? Do you have kids together? Are you married? Are you afraid to be alone/no one else better? Is it because you love them “you can’t live without them?” If you answer yes to any of these then it makes its more difficult to leave but have a look at the following factors and maybe it can help you make a clear decision.
Can you live with the decision, will you always be questioning whether you should of walked away when you had the chance? If in doubt best to leave and move on as it is clear there is no forgiving and forgetting here.
Will you find yourself acting out in revenge if so what is the point there is ‘no two wrongs make a right’ in this sort of situation. You will find yourselves in a relationship that is not progressing and lets face it if both of you have cheated why are you two together? Find someone else.
Will they do it again? If you even think for a moment theres a chance it can happen again then why are you even going there again? “Once a cheat always a cheat”.
By Annie Ploy