It’s About Time You Made A Decision…You Can’t Keep It Casual Forever, Are You With Her Or Not?
I’ve lost count of the amount of times I’ve witnessed my close friends go on the pathetic roundabout of letting their “relationships” slip, all because they were scared of actually getting into relationships. Ironic, right?
It always starts off as pretty much the perfect situation. You like her, she likes you, you’re seeing each other and having fun without the need for titles or pressure. You just wanna stay “Friends” right?
Except we all know it never remains that way, does it?
You try to convince yourselves, you’re just “seeing each other” or “linking” (do kids still use that word? I dunno) or doing a “ting”. Well, that can run for a few weeks, maybe a month or two but past the six month stage, if you’re mutually exclusive to each other, sooner or later you’ll hear the dreaded question…
Don’t worry guys, that’s usually my reaction too.
Alarms bells should start ringing at this point. It means she’s tired of the uncertainty and wants to make it official, she’s tired of being your girlfriend in every way except the title. This is when you should re-evaluate the situation you’re in, be a man and make a decision.
But nooooooo, of course you won’t do this. In your head you’ve got the whole ‘Friends With Benefits’ thing going and you just can’t let that go. You want your boys to know you have her without the stress and baggage of a mutually exclusive relationship, so you take a deep breath and give her the equally irritating…
Over the years I’ve gotten older and maybe a little wiser so experience has given me a slightly different perspective. The reality is, this type of situation works for a while but pretty soon it becomes one of the worst things you could put, not only yourself, but another person you supposedly care about through. You think this ‘casual arrangement’ works best but really that’s just the honeymoon period that every couple goes through. It’ll start to get tough and without the security of a relationship in place, it’s even harder.
There’s only so many times you can introduce her to your mates and family as just a “friend” before she realises this so-called ‘cool’ situation you got yourselves into is just a long winding road to absolutely nowhere.
We’ve seen Friends With Benefits and all the other movies where the characters try and make a casual situation work. In the end though, they always figure out what they should be doing and they almost always end up together.
Except, this isn’t the movies dumb-arse, it’s real life, there’s no script and most of the time there isn’t a happy ending if you don’t make it happen. Eventually she’ll grow tired of going nowhere and eventually tell you…
Now you’ve lost the casual situation you had going on with a girl who was actually good enough to be your girlfriend… and to make it even worse, you’ve now gone and lost a friend in the process. If you’re in this situation ask yourself why you haven’t made it official, if you have no real reasons then do yourself a favour and lock her up before she’s out of your life.
I’m speaking from experience here, word to Jay-Z, “When a good girl’s gone bad she’s gone forever”.