The Classy Girls Guide To Dating Two Men At Once
Many girls would find the thought of dating two men at once ridiculous. Not because of any moral issues it might raise, but because most of the time, finding one descent man is hard enough… let alone two.
Being single is sometimes like waiting for a bus that is taking its good old fucking time to come, then just when you’re about to give up hope, two pull in at once.
So what is a girl to do? Pick one at random and hope for the best? Hell no. You can’t take a chance on your romantic future like that, the only logical thing to do is date both, then pick. If men can successfully multi-date then honestly, how hard can it be?
First of all start by getting that guilty look off your face, exclusivity does not begin at the first date. Then from there just follow these simple rules for double dating success:
Join a gym
Going out for all these dinners is bound to make you put on weight. Being in a relationship with one man is statistically proven to make you put on weight, so image the damage to your waist line that two of them will cause. Then, before you know it, you’ll go from having two men, to none.
Keep your mouth shut.
There are two basic things you have to understand about dating a) people love to talk b) everyone seems to know everyone. So if you don’t want your men finding out about each other, try not to broadcast it to the whole world.
I know it’s tempting, after months of patronising “I’m sure you’ll find someone” comments from the entire dating world to let them know that your prospects have increased by 200% in two days, but for now, don’t.
Dating two men at once makes you bold and daring. Sleeping with two men at once makes you a slut. I’m not saying that’s right or wrong, I’m just saying that’s how it is.
Inviting them both upstairs is a recipe for Jeremy Kyle type disaster. There’s no coming back socially from “Kristen, is 100% sure that one of these two men are the baby’s father”.
The last thing you need is to accidentally text one guy thinking he’s the other.
You: “Thanks so much for last night, I had an amazing time”
You: “Oh, er, stupid autocorrect… I meant hi!”
Facebook stalk the crap out of them.
If either of these two guys have any mutual friends on Facebook, the mission must be aborted immediately. That mutual friend is the key to your whole undoing. Sure they might barely know this mutual friend, the changes of that mutual friend inviting them both out to together is probably unlikely… but do you really want to take that risk?
Preferably, before it gets to the point where you have two guys calling you their ‘girlfriend’.
If it comes to crunch time and you don’t know which man to pick, ask yourself this: would it bother you to find out that one of these men were also “testing their options?” If you really like one of them, it should.
Sure, you have no right to be annoyed or jealous. But then when has that ever stopped a woman from getting angry or upset?