Curse Of The Ex: Why Do They Always Want You Back The Moment You’ve Moved On?
This is a classic story of boy meets girl, boy dumps girl, girl moves on, boy wants girl back.
Because no matter how much better than you he thought he was at the time, now that someone else wants you, you seem like a bit of a catch again.
And so it begins:
Have you heard the phrase “men just want what they can’t have?” Well, its not entirely untrue, but I think a more accurate description would be “men just want what other men have”.
For months you called him, double text him, Facebook stalked him and pretty much spent every waking moment driving your friends crazy with your post break up emotional rants.
Then, just when you’re on the verge of giving up on men entirely, you meet someone new. Like clockwork (as though he’s getting text notifications updates on your love life) your ex’s radar goes off that it’s time to get back in touch.
Why? Well I’m not a mind reader, but I think I can hazard a guess…
He Thought He’d Find Someone Better But He Didn’t
When a guy is dating a girl who is a bit of a catch, it automatically makes him believe he is a catch too. By that logic he comes to the conclusion that as a catch, he probably shouldn’t tie himself down too quickly, when surely there must be a whole list of 10s who want him… ones which might even be better than you.
The poor delusional sod. The truth is, finding someone you actually want to date is kind of like playing the lottery. Just because the first number they drew was one you wanted, doesn’t necessarily mean you’ll get another one any time soon.
So, 3 months down the line he realises he’s done no better, he begins to wonder if he made the right decision after all…
He Heard You’ve Moved On And It Occurred To Him You’re No Longer An Option.
The thing about break ups is that there’s usually one person who didn’t want it to end. This serves as great comfort to the other person, because they live in the comfy knowledge that if they wanted to, they could probably get you back.
But once you meet a new man, all that changes, your status changes from “back up plan” to “no longer an option” and that freaks him the fuck out.
In dating terms, this is time for the grand gesture. For some men this comes in form of flowers, for others it’s nothing more than a text. But ladies, don’t let it fool you, these are not the actions of a man in love. They are the actions of a man who just realised you found someone else and he didn’t.
Part Of Him Wants To See If You’ll Come Running Back
He’s heard this all before. “It’s over, we’re finished, I don’t want this any more”. Blah blah we’ve all said it. Then one phone call or a couple of “I miss you” texts later, you’re back together with nothing more than the make-up sex to show for your argument.
Well sure, it’s been a little while longer this time, but he wants to see if old habits really do die hard.
He Misses The Sex
Men in relationships believe single life to be an endless commitment-less breast fest. It’s not.
Also you’ve been apart for a while now and your nagging is a distant memory. The topless photo of you he still has on his phone, is not.
I know what you’re all thinking: I left one important thing out.
What if, actually he just misses you. Well maybe. Curious though, that he never missed you when you were single, miserable and alone…