Dating Advice You Should Stop Taking
Traditionally dating is a two person game, but over the years it has become more and more of a group activity. I’m not talking kinky group sex; I mean girl advice gone too far. Not excluding present company dating is the one topic everyone has an opinion on and for every great tip you get from a friend there are three terrible ones, following up the rear.
At some point in time, we all decided that there is no better confidant than our best friends, however emotionally unstable they might be in their own relationships.
With conviction they tell you exactly how to deal with every man based conundrum, never once taking their own advice and in return you never wonder why.
When it comes to dating advice I’ve heard it all, the logical and the often not so logical. By rule of thumb, when a girlfriend gives you dating advice ask yourself one simple question “what if he did that?” if your answer is to a) run a mile or b) avoid him for the rest of the week, then the advice might not be as golden as you think.
If that doesn’t clarify it then perhaps this will, if the advice sounds anything like this, you might want to ignore it:
1. “He hasn’t replied? Text him again…” The things us women come out with. Honestly. “Maybe he didn’t get it” or “maybe his phone ran out of battery”. I say, maybe you should stop acting so crazy. They always reply eventually, go do something other than stare at your phone, and definitely, definitely do not text him again. He’s probably just busy and it might be better to let him think that you are too. No one wants to date the girl who has nothing better to do than obsess about the time stamp between each text message.
2. “Dump him, immediately!” What? A minute ago she was telling you to keep texting him until he replies. Girls are quick to jump to the dump when it’s not their relationship. When it’s their love life in question they practise forgiveness, when it’s your love life it’s “I wouldn’t stand for that if I were you”.
3. “He’s not good enough for you” Here’s the thing. Your closest friends are the ones you bitch to every time a guy is being a bit of an arse. They don’t hear about every good thing he does, but they do hear about every bad one. It’s natural, everyone needs to vent, just don’t be surprised when they don’t paint him as a saint worthy of your awesomeness.
If he is good enough for you, then they’ll see it eventually; if however they happen to be right, well then you’re just going to have to endure a good old fashioned “I told you so”.
4. “Ignore him all night and flirt with someone else to make him jealous” This one is in fact recently tried and tested and I can officially confirm… it’s stupid advice.
“Wear a sexy dress” she said “walk into the club” my friend nodded, taking notes mental notes while me and my wine ignored them both, “and then flirt with every hot guy you find… guys want what they can’t have, I’m telling you he’ll be begging for it by the end of the night”.
I was going to say something but, they both seemed pretty convinced. In fact what happened is, he hooked up with another girl and she cried in the bathroom of Shaka Zulu for most of the night. I told you, it was stupid advice.
5. “You had sex with him? On the second date? In his car? No, that’s not bad at all”. I realise that when the damage is done, it seems kinder not to tell your best friend what a flaming idiot she is, but for the record, it’s probably better she knows, so she learns to control herself next time.
6. “No, that message isn’t too keen” I’m not being funny, but if you have to ask, you probably shouldn’t send it. At the start of a relationship, men like the chase, keep up the poker face and don’t show your hand too early.
7. “Tell him you love him” (Sure… but only after he says it to you first!)
When it comes to dating, every girl crumbles in the “cooling period” of a relationship.
This is the point where the honeymoon period has worn off, he no longer needs to text you that “good-morning beautiful” bullshit because you like him enough that he can ease up on his game a little and while he’s thinking he’s got you, you’re thinking he’s acting distant.
Instead of playing it cool, calm and collected most women think that this is the time to do their version of the grand gesture. Not helped by their friends egging them on with “tell him exactly how you feel, if he’s not man enough to handle it then you’ll find someone who is!”
They begin to fret that maybe they didn’t show him enough interest when they could have. They wonder if they should have acted happier, sweeter or more excited on their dates. Then they rationalise that it’s not too late, they can still show that enthusiasm now, three months of emotions concentrated in a few texts (what a way to win a man back).
All the while he’s probably thinking “shit, I can’t believe I nearly made this crazy b*tch my girlfriend”.