The Different Types Of Nightclub Promoter In London Clubs - Xclusive TouchXclusive Touch

The Different Types Of Nightclub Promoter In London Clubs

If you’re a fan of the West end then chances are you’ve met a few promoters in your time.  It used to be quite cool telling people you were a nightclub promoter until every Tom, Dick and Ade gatecrashed the party and ruined it for all of us. 

You see the issue is that Tom, Dick and Harry really aren’t nice people, Tom’s a bit of a sleaze bag, Dick is appropriately named and Harry’s a bit of a gold digger. 

So without further ado here is break down to the different types of nightclub promoter in the West End

The Over-Promisor

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They’re extremely easy to spot. A simple scroll through their Facebook wall or twitter page and you will soon see that they have a very limited vocabulary. They tend to throw the word free around a lot.  Well I lied their vocabulary isn’t actually limited it is in fact their pitch that’s limited. They have no qualms in promising a night full of queue jumps, VIP treatment, limitless grey goose yet only manage to delivering a 3 quarter full glass of cranberry vodka and a pat goodbye.

The Sleazebag

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You can usually identify the sleaze bag promoter by his hair cut. His hair will almost always have half a tub of gel in it (bonus awarded for plucked eye brows).  Usually harmless however a major inconvenience to be around, sort of like a bad smell. You will have a friend that will look past the 250ml of gel in his hair, the overwhelming scent of Paco Rabanne and actually think he is worth partying with. No, just no. Your night will consist of non-stop leering and uncomfortable invasions of personal space. The sleazebag likes to abuse his position to invite young girls to his ‘after-party’, an event that generally takes place in his bedroom. 

The Bug-a-Boo

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If Destiny Child were to re-release that early noughties classic this nightclub promoter would get a mention. You regret the day you ever gave the Bug-a-Boo your number! You’ve not spoken to him in 4 months yet your inbox is full of annoying promo messages from him. To make things worse your friends on Facebook and you receive non-stop event invites too. You would delete him there and then but are waiting for when you go on your next Facebook deleting spree.  You have however asked him to take you out of whichever group he put you in when sending you messages. The messages stop…for two weeks 

The Player/Male Gold Digger 

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You met the player on a night out with your girls; he never even mentioned he was promoter. He just dazzled you with his charm and good looks, it not long before you’re dating you think it’s about time he changed his Facebook relationship status. You only found out he was a promoter in passing conversation, this guy is smooth “I throw a few parties, I’ve got one next Saturday actually, few of the guys are coming, you remember Tom and Dick right? You should bring the girls along we’re getting a table.” You jump at the chance to meet his friends again, perhaps this is his way of showing you that he likes you and it won’t be long until you make an appearance on his Facebook page under the words in a relationship with.

Unfortunately it only dawns on you that he’s a player after a few times of partying with him. It’s only on explaining it to the 3rd random girl at one of his clubs that you are in fact seeing him and she must be confused the charade is finally up. When he looked at you and his eyes went to soft focus he didn’t see love hearts but £££ signs.

The A-Lister

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When you spot The A-Lister you can’t help but feel sympathy for them. They usually tend to be a former X-Factor contestant, a failed model or just someone with a twisted sense of reality.

Their instagram profile will consist of post that follow the narrative of “Me & Iggy Azalea @RiseSuperClub #vip #celeb #chilling #YouKnowHowIdo”. You probably have to restrain yourself to comment #HowDoYouEvenKnowHer. You decide to spare his blushes and give him a follow regardless, Iggy Azalea’s cool even if he’s not.

The Good Few

There are of course the odd good promoters sprinkled here and there, if you’ve been out partying in the west end long enough you may have met one. Chances are your good friends with one. They tend to have a personality, they don’t burst the invisible bubble of space around you, see you as £ sign and lie to you about how amazing a night is going to be. They do however send you the occasional promo text… No ones perfect!

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