If He Doesn’t Return Your Texts & You End Up Asking Yourself “Did I Sleep With Him Too Early?”, Chances Are You Probably Did
Don’t sleep with a man on a first date. Or on a second. And maybe not on a third either.
This is not me, being judgmental, it actually goes way back when to the original scriptures of the girl bible: Bradshaw, Chapter 10 “And thou shalt not sleep with a man on a first date, to avoid thine fear of seeming slutty“. Or something along those lines anyway.
But who came up with these rules and more importantly why?
Does sleeping with a man on a first date automatically take you out of the running for the role of his next “wifey” or is this just a fable, women tell each other, in order to stop each other from getting laid.
More importantly, do men really lose interest when you give it up too soon? Does his lack of post coital texting have anything to do with the fact you accidentally made your way into his bed on date 1, 2 or 3 or is his silence simply a result of some freak coincidence.
In order to answer these questions we have to re-visit the scene of the crime…
I’m sure you went out with every intention of being an absolute vision of class and sophistication. But then one thing led to another and somewhere between him paying for dinner and that third glass of vino, your plans for the evening changed.
You probably figured that you’ve been sufficiently charming and witty the whole night that he won’t hold a little bit of unplanned passion against you.
“Unplanned passion?! Unplanned passion” what the hell were you thinking.
Wait, maybe he won’t hold it against you. Maybe he still likes you. Maybe, the reason that you haven’t got your usual ‘good morning’ text is because you wore him out so extensively last night, that he’s still asleep.
And anyway, as far as you recall, he wasn’t exactly giving out mixed signals last night…
In fact you’re sure he dropped the “I really like you” bomb. Which on a first or second date, is pretty much the equivalent of an “I’m in love with you” after three months.
And he paid for everything. Guys don’t pay for everything unless they really like you… right?
That is unless he’s rich and he’s sure paying for your chicken chasseur and the cheapest bottle of wine on the menu might get you into bed.
Maybe that’s it. Maybe that’s all he was after.
Or worse, maybe he actually wanted to love you and you just went ahead and made him think of you as a bit of fun. Maybe you should send a next day “I don’t usually do that…” text to attempt some damage control.
Stop. Just stop.
Lets be honest, sex on the first date doesn’t make you a slut. Just like waiting a couple of months doesn’t make you a wife. You could have sex on the first date and end up engaged to the person, or you could wait three months only to never hear from them again. The truth is that it’s not about the sex. It’s about what he’s looking for and how much he likes you.
If he never contacts you again, the chances are he was only after one thing and that wouldn’t have changed, even if you waited three more dates. There’s absolutely nothing you can do, so stop stressing about it. Just move on and then maybe hit him up 3 months later with a fake pregnancy scare as punishment.
Don’t look at me like that, I’m joking, obviously.
Though let this be a lesson for next time. Just because you want to dive head first into his pants, doesn’t mean you should. Leave some mystery girl. Let him wonder what’s under those H&M leggings of yours.
That way if he doesn’t call you after sex, you don’t have to spend the next two months wondering if you’d be changing your Facebook status to “in a relationship” if you’d just been a little less slutty.