You Will Only Ever Do These 14 Things When Drunk

There are just some things in life that you need to be drunk for. These are usually the things we all wish we could do sober, but aren’t brave or stupid enough to actually follow through.

So to help you along your drunken way, we’ve put together our official “drunken bucket list”, a list of things everyone has to or will only ever do when drunk at least once, whilst intoxicated:

1. Buy Drinks… For EVERYONE.
Money Aint Shit Blonde Cash Rich Drinks
You are rich. Well rich-ish. You got paid, your card probably won’t get declined so why the hell not. Tequila all round!

2. Become A Victim Of Beer Goggles
Bridesmaids movie quote one night stand rude next morning beer goggles
You don’t get it, your pulling the hottest girl in the club, but your friends can’t stop laughing and taking pictures. Must be jealousy mate.

Well, until the photos get sent to you the next morning and suddenly all is clear.

3. Talk About The Meaning Of Life With A Stranger
Friends Drunk Moments Gif Meaning Of  Life GIF

Have a deep and meaningful conversation about life with the cab man, the bouncer, or pretty much any random stranger you come into contact with.

4. Bring Home Souvenirs
Drunken Stealing GIF I want that
At some point on the journey home, your bound to pick up something to remember the night by. Be it a shot glass, a traffic cone or a street sign.

5. Pee In Public
Yeah Drunk Wee Public GIF

After spending a night of drinking, why stand in a long line to use the loo when there is a perfectly good bush or alley to pee in?!

6. Do A Table Dance
Awkward Drunk Table Dance Funny GIF
Your moves are on the money, people are looking and that’s how you know you’re good. Okay okay so you get a tad carried away thinking you are the next JT with your smooth moves, but it all seemed verr logical at the time. By jumping up onto the table you could ensure everyone in the club saw your twerk / merk (male twerk… that’s a thing… right?!)

7. Get Thrown Out Of A Club/Bar
Jersey Shore Drunk Cab No Shame GIF

Starting a fight, being too rowdy, throwing up, dancing on the sofas, throwing up some more. You’re having a great time, but the bouncer doesn’t seem to think so.

8. Come Up With An Amazing Money Making Scheme That You Write On A Napkin Only To Lose.
Drake rich money scheme gif cash
Sometimes the napkin turns up and you’ll be forever left wondering why there’s a bunched up bit of loo roll in your pocket with the words “hot-dog vending machine” written on it.

9. Tell Someone EXACTLY What You Think Of Them
10 things i hate about you kat you suck gif
Not bold enough to say it while sober? Say it while drunk. Then pretend you don’t recall any of it.

10. Think You Are On Man vs Food
Man Vs Food Julia Roberts Pizza Eating Food

Order approximately four times the amount of food that you are actually capable of eating and sit there eating like a zombie cow dropping pizza and kebab everywhere.

12. Go On An Insane Adventure… End Up With Weird Bruises You Can’t Explain The Next Day.
Drunken Injury GIF Accident Funny
“Dude what happened”
“You tried to have sex with a tree, but don’t worry, you fell off before you went all the way”.
Good timmmes.

13. Leave An Answer Phone Message You’ll Instantly Regret
I love you confession vampire diaries
Nothing seems like a better idea 3 minutes before you pass out than to tell your long term crush exactly how you feel about them. But a text just isn’t embarrassing enough, no no, because then you’d be able to use the “haha my friends stole my phone and text loads of my contacts” line.

But drunk you wants to make sure sober you can’t get out of this one… so a voice-mail it is.

14. Hair Of The Dog
Spit Drink Swallow Water Vodka GIF

Everyone has woken up the morning after with a glass by their bed, mouth feeling like the Sahara and taking the chance, knowing full well that there’s a 50% chance it’s vodka. A game only for the drunken brave.

Laura Edgington

Laura Edgington

More from Laura Edgington
Studying in Surrey but a London girl at heart, excited to travel the world. Writing about everything and anything that interests me, often not making much sense. Addicted to American sit-coms and sarcasm. The best moments in life are getting a McDonald’s breakfast the morning after alcohol has been consumed. It’s the little things...@LauraaEdge

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