Friends with Benefits
If Hollywood is anything to go by, friends with benefits never works. There have been a score of films depicting an attractive pair of 20 somethings trying to navigate their way around the sticky world of sex with no strings. At first it’s all great then bang, somebody develops emotions, chaos ensues and it all falls to pieces; luckily for lovers Hollywood it always ends with a soppy and romantic reconciliation. For those in the real world however friends with benefits can really lead to some messy outcomes and this is primarily due to those pesky emotions. Emotions and string-free sex don’t mix, invariably someone will get hurt. However this said, Friends with Benefits can also be a positive thing. If it is done correctly FWB can be exciting, fun and good for you health (really having regular sex is proven to produce happy hormones and is a great way to get exercise!). However, there are a few things to think about before going into this kind of agreement, a few rules to follow, before you take that leap into the sphere of sex and friendship.
1. Know yourself- is it really you ?
The first thing is to be completely honest with yourself can you handle this? If you’re the type of person who falls head first into relationships and is easily jealous then maybe friends with benefits isn’t for you. You have to know yourself and if there is any chance that you may develop feelings for this person in the near future than you need to think about it before you agree to sex with no strings attached. With a physical relationship there will always be more opportunity for feeling to develop and if you are not able to handle them when they arise then you are really in danger of getting yourself hurt. However if you decide that you are able to deal and you are the type of person to not get attached easily then fire away!
2. Don’t let your heart rule.
Never go into this kind of set up with someone you have feelings for. The idea of being with someone that you fancy or have an attachment to can be enticing; the hope that by having sex they may one day see you as more than just a friend. This however, is NOT a good idea. The odds are that if they don’t want a relationship with you now they won’t further down the line and by starting a physical relationship with them you are just setting up your self for heartbreak. While we’re at it, if YOU suspect that your sex buddy is developing feelings for you and you don’t feel the same way then just end it! No matter how good the sex is you don’t want to get yourself on the receiving end of a jealous emotional lover- you will just end up looking like the bad guy.
3. Never with a bessie!
Think twice about sleeping with very good friends. Although the connection between good friends can mean great sex, you both feel comfortable with each other and don’t have to be shy; If the friend you are about to sleep with is a particularly good friend then you may want to think again. The fact is that the many of friends with benefits relationships end badly and if you are the unlucky pair to fall under this category then you may be at risk of losing a good friendship. This combined with the fact that as good friends you are probably part of the same friendship group and this means seeing each other outside of your sexy sessions. This is especially awkward if you’re in the club hitting on the nearest hottie and your sex buddy is staring right at you. So if you do want to try out friends with benefits then do it with someone whose friendship you might not exactly miss if it all goes sour.
4. Be Honest
Before you agree to this contract be honest with the other person about your attentions. If you know your are going to be seeing/sleeping with other people then let them know; just so that when they do find out it isn’t some big shock. By being honest you will make sure that you will not be blamed for leading that person on if he or she were to develop feelings. Before you start make sure you set out clear guidelines and expectations, making sure you stick to these later on. 5. Have fun and stay safe!
Friends with benefits can be one of the best experiences. The sex can give you a big confidence boost, the knowledge that someone finds you attractive makes you feel sexy and can bring out a bolder you, without all of the hassle that comes with dating. Not only this, but it lets you work out that weekly frustration in a fun and comfortable way. Just make sure that you wrap it up! I would advise using protection in any situation but especially if you are not it a committed relationship; using a condom will protect you and your partner from any nasty situations.
There we are, the five main tips on how to make your friends with benefits venture a successful one. Of course it is not always guaranteed, but follow these rules and you may be part of those lucky few to survive the elusive no strings relationship.