It’s All Fun & Games Until You Pass Out On A Pizza: 10 Reasons Why You’ll Never Drink Again
The bright lights of central London coupled with a night out clubbing that is best described as “messy” often leads to some interesting stories the morning after the night before.
How often have you woken up with a hangover from hell, promising yourself that you’ll never drink again, swearing that alcohol is the devils juice and failing miserably at recalling last nights events. There is absolutely no way you’ll be able to remember last nights events without at least a nudge in the right direction. Usually this nudge comes via a message from a friend, maybe a tweet or even a stream of blurred selfies with strangers on your phone.
After what seems like an eternity of waiting for your iPhone to have enough charge to turn on(why does it take so long) you are almost instantly greeted by a barrage of messages; Tweets, whatsapps, snapchats even voicemails. The thought of having to read/watch/listen (who are you kidding you never listen to your voicemail) to all of these is too much for you to handle right now, so you do the obvious thing…rest your phone on the bedside table, roll back over and try to go back to sleep. Of course your attempts at getting back to sleep are an exercise in futility; you’re head is in too much pain and you’re phones display light constantly flashing isn’t helping.
You pick up your phone and take a deep breath before opening the 97 messages in your whatsapp group. It doesn’t take much scrolling before you wish that you’d never looked at your phone your heart drops and you can only take comfort from curling up into the foetal position.
It’s now that you swear to yourself that you’ll never drink again and here are the 10 reasons why…
1. The Photo Of You Using A Pizza For A Pillow
Embarrassing is not the word, at least she maintained some dignity and kept her heels on.
2. The Drunk Text You Sent Your Ex
There is really no coming back from this…
3. The Pint Of Water You Spilled On Your MacBook Pro
The pain on waking up to find you’ve fried your keyboard and can’t even type your password to log in is second to none
4. The Receipts From Last Night That Add Up To Your Rent
Last night may have been a movie, the rest of the month WILL be a struggle!
5. The Video Of You Twerking
Why didn’t anyone tell you how stupid you looked?
6. The Drunk Email You Sent To One Of Your Clients
Honestly what were you thinking? What you thought were insightful comments were in fact complete gibberish.
7. The 2/10 You Woke Up Next To
The curse of the beer goggles
8. The Tweet You Wish You Never Sent
There is really nothing that can be said in defense of this.
9. The Moment You Let Curiosity Get The Better Of You
Does this mean you’re now bisexual?
10. The Belfie/DickPick You Sent To Your Crush
It seemed like a great idea at the time. You thought your crush would have loved you waking up to that XXX rated selfie. Even if you look amazing and they loved the pic, it may just end up ruining any prospects of something more than just a fling with them.