Gen Y Dating: You, Him And The 5 Other Women He’s Sleeping With
Most women would say you should trust a man until he gives you a good reason not to. I say, never trust anybody 100% because we live among a generation of liars. Convincing ones at that.
Do all men cheat? No. In the same way that not all women are faithful. But the ones that do fool around are becoming more skilled than ever at it. Not because of any extra effort put in to cover up their in-discrepancies, but because they’ve become convincing at playing the part of the perfect boyfriend.
So why do men cheat? Men who more often than not claim to love their girlfriends. Who treat them well, buy them presents and tell them that they never want to break up?
And I’m not just talking about casual flings here, some of these men are having full blown second relationships. They move in with one girl whilst dating another. Tell one girl they love her, whilst agreeing to meet the other ones parents. And somehow fitting both (if not more) in for weekly dates/ hook ups.
Men cheat because it’s easy and because they enjoy it. Why have one woman when you can have two or three. Not to mention that the age of technology has made it easier than ever before to stray and get get away with it.
They no longer have to venture out into public to talk to other girls, they can do it safely and privately from the comfort of their own bed, one Twitter and Facebook direct message at a time.
Your relationship is no longer as exciting as it once was. You’ve given up the act of constantly smooth legs, perfect make up and you now roll your eyes at the jokes you used to fake laugh at.
This isn’t a criticism, it’s life. You grow closer and you get comfortable enough to be yourself. But unfortunately that closeness comes hand in hand with a loss of excitement, you’re no longer an exciting toy… you’re safe.
It has been said that it’s not cheating if you don’t get caught. By which logic, thousands of us, have never actually been cheated on. The truth is, if a guy cheats once and gets away with it… he gets cocky and believes he will continue to get away with it, again and again.
Not to mention that the more they stray, the better they become at hiding it. It starts with the very basic deleting all his text messages so you can never find any incriminating evidence, to the slightly more advanced having two numbers, because he suddenly needs a “business” line.
Classic female move: someone tells you straight that your boyfriend is cheating and you automatically think the bitch who broke it to you, is lying.
Of course she might be, but surely.. it’s worth a little investigation isn’t it? And we all know that when we want to, us women can investigate s**t better than the FBI.
Men are masters at excuses. You could see picture evidence of him with his tongue down another girls throat and he’ll convince you it’s someone else.
Men who don’t trust their girlfriends are usually the first to cheat.
The ones who are constantly asking where you are, what you’re doing, who you’re with, who is texting you, not to mention constantly asking you if you’ve ever cheated on them. They’re the guys you need to look out for, because maybe just maybe his paranoia stems from the fact that he managed to lie to you so convincingly, that it occurs to him that maybe you have too.
Being bad is exciting. The fear of getting caught, is exciting. Not to mention that some of these girls will do the freaky shit you’ve been saying no to for months.
So what do you do? Start to drive past his house late at night to see if he says he is where he says? Go through his phone? Hack into his Twitter to confront the bitch he’s been inboxing? Or do you trust and hope for the best?
Anyone will tell you that when it comes to dating, if you don’t have trust you don’t have anything. But trust doesn’t always guarantee fidelity.
The real issue is that most men who cheat are clued up on the classic cheating signs and aren’t so foolish as to display them. Don’t expect him to change his phone password, start placing his iPhone face down on the table and don’t expect every boys night out to end with him “staying at a mates”.
Don’t expect him to start taking you to some hole-in-the-wall of a Chinese restaurant where you’re unlikely to bump into anyone. And don’t wait for him to start picking fights. If it’s warning signs you’re waiting for then you’ll be waiting a while because he may just be smarter than that. Many of these men have become masters of hiding their bad behavior behind thoughtful presents and a smile.
So what to do? My advice: hope for the best but only ever trust even the nicest of men, no more than 95%.