What guys expect when they buy you a drink
Dear, every girl that has ever just walked off after a guy has bought you a drink, please don’t do that. It sucks on so many levels that it’s difficult to calculate just how many we’re talking but, trust me, it’s a lot.
It’s one of the most embarrassing feelings on a night out thinking that this conversation’s going well and then you hand your money over, she gets her drink and you’re left standing there looking like a royal mug. Its ok, I feel your pain. Being neither Mr. Universe or James Bond, I’ve experienced this before; shit happens.
However, you clearly feel in some way that you’ve been cheated. Not cool, ladies, not cool. I’m almost diametrically opposed to grabbing the female in question and, let’s face it, there’s always that outside chance that you’re actually a really boring guy. I know, crazy right? How could anyone say such nonsense? The audacity of it all.
Personally, I have a debilitating level of guilt whenever anyone buys me a drink. It’s like a game of ‘rounds one-upmanship’; you buy me one, I buy you one, then you get me another one and so on. It ends in one of two ways; either you both finish the game absolutely twisted or one of you bottles it in the early stages (generally the one with less money). Coincidence? I’d be surprised.
It’s a well-accepted fact that if a girl goes out with no money, she can definitely get drunk from a long line of amorous males desperate to ‘get on that’. I’d be amazed if any of my friends would be able to match such a feat, regardless of physical appearance or if they are some damn smooth talking lotharios. Side note: my friends revel in the fact that none of them ever say the right thing, it’s really quite endearing. This is them.
Alas, I digress. Surely, the point of buying someone a drink is to enjoy it with them, you know? The aim of the game is to have said beverage in your hands for as long as is humanely possible because the pair of you have been talking and exchanging stories. If that’s been done then goodbyes can be said and you go your separate ways, secure in the knowledge that you tried your best and didn’t get discarded without a look in.
It’s like applying for a job, spending your time writing a covering letter and then getting the automated response email. “We would like to thank your applying for the position of…”; you get the picture. I hate receiving that email, basically it tells you that they didn’t bother reading your application and they didn’t have any desire to. So, yeah…suck it.
Girls, please don’t just walk away from us when we buy you a drink. The majority of us aren’t always just after one thing, some of us think you’re genuinely interesting or a nice person. There’s an old saying about books and covers here that applies.