Gym Posers BEWARE – We Are SO Onto You - Xclusive Touch
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Gym Posers BEWARE – We Are SO Onto You

When it comes to the gym, there are two types of people:

The Body Conscious
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These are the gym goers that joined because they want to improve their appearance and/or fitness. They know their biceps from their triceps and can also differentiate between a room full of dumbbells and dumb blondes.

The Posers
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These people look good…and boy, do they know it! To them, the gym is less of a place for physical activity and more of a twisted social engagement. Posers tend to do minimal work and somehow still look like they train 4 times a week.

So if you’re a poser, read on and discover what the people around you are really thinking…

“This Ain’t No Beauty Pageant”

We all know you spent an hour getting ready for your grand entrance onto the gym floor, but this isn’t Oscar night and that’s not a red carpet so stop dressing for a night on the town.

It’s survival of the fittest (literally) in here – if you’re not sweating then prepare to be judged by your peers.

“Social Media is NOT a Reward for Your Hard Work
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Hashtag CRINGE! Stop posting about going to the gym and working hard when your make-up looks better than before you started – no one is fooled by your ‘love of cardio’ because the cellulite speaks for itself.  (Yes, even skinny people get it!) No person in their right mind wants to post a sweaty selfie after training hard so you’re either one rep short of a superset OR you’ve only ‘worked out’ to show Twitter how great you look in spandex. #busted

If you want to show off your new gear, upload BEFORE the workout and aim to look strong, not just sexy!

Comfort Over Style: Don’t Make a Tit of Yourself
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Not even Victoria’s Secret models would dare to brave this self-inflicted torture. Every woman is familiar with the pain that comes from running downstairs with no bra on – take that pain and double it. You’ll know what I mean the day after you run for half an hour without the right support.

Do yourself a favour – ditch the D cups and shop around for a comfortable sports bra that supports your boobs as well as your ego.

We All Saw You in KFC Straight After Your Workout
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Stop telling the woman on the neighboring treadmill about the quinoa and butternut squash salad you had for lunch and preaching about your newfound love of macronutrients. We all know that after the gym, you’ll be running to the nearest fast-food shop…which, ironically will be the most exercise you’ve had all day.

An Education in Boobs vs. Braun
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To the men who take their gym sessions seriously, there is nothing more attractive than a woman who isn’t afraid to sweat. It shows commitment, focus, and an ‘I don’t give a s**t’ attitude. Talking to them whilst they lift isn’t a good way to stand out. March your butt into the weights section, pick up the barbell and get squatting!

So if you’re going to the gym to pick up dates not weights but you still find yourself sleeping alone, then maybe it’s time to re-evaluate a few things. It’s all well and good going 3 times a week, but if your only goal is to target men with muscles then is certainly cheaper than most gym memberships!

Blog by Rachel Schacter

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