Happy 25th Birthday The Internet: 25 Things You Wouldn’t Be Able To Live Without
25 years ago today, some nerds gave sweet, binary birth to one of the most encompassing and intrusive things ever created by us as a species. That cheeky little gizmo was the internet. Now that the internet is 25, you can read these words that I have typed at my laptop and uploaded onto the site for eyes and minds to absorb. It’s really pretty cool.
Truth be told, and I’m not proud to admit this, I would be at least 90% lost without the web. It’s where I get all my news, views, opinions and useless shit that I don’t really need. Nice one, eBay. Still, without it, there would a lot of valuable stuff that would have slipped through the net of humanity and fallen on the harsh, jagged rocks of non-creation.
Now I think about it, I don’t remember the last day I didn’t use the internet in any way. It’s got me by the balls and has done since I was sat at my dad’s listening to the good ol’ dial up tone. Remember those days? Back when broadband was a blessing rather a given. Back when floppy discs were useful rather than sticking your shit up on the cloud. Back when your old man had a stash of mags that were for his eyes only. How did we cope with those times? Dark days, indeed.
Just imagine how London would be without it. How would people be able to show what they had for lunch at Jamie’s Italian that very moment? How would tourists be able to access TripAdvisor to find out which eatery is closest and least likely to kill them? Most importantly, how would we live without CityMapper? That shit is gold dust.
To commemorate this grand invention, I’ve compiled a list of 25 things that Londoners would be totally lost without.
Before today, I didn’t know someone my own age that didn’t have Facebook. How else would we find out if she’s single? Asking is way too forward.
Bob Dylan going broadband & that bloke shouting “Judas!” at him for abandoning his dial-up roots. #EarlyInternetMemories
— Michael Ferguson (@himwiththecyst) March 12, 2014
Let’s face it; micro blogging’s much easier than actual blogging. People can see just how hilarious I am in 140 characters or less.
The amount of times I’ve wandered around, phone in hand, and this little gem has saved my life.
As a rule, I hate this. As a bigger rule, I hate speaking to people on the phone more.
While it’s a shame that we don’t have endless conversations about what the absolute banger we heard on the night out was, this saves time and arguments.
If you don’t have this, you’re either a fool or a bold and intrepid human being.
7) Apple products
Do you really think you’d have that iPhone, iPad or iPod in your pocket if there wasn’t an internet?
Because some things are cheaper than WhatsApp.
“Holy shit, everyone needs to see this fucking coffee right now.”
Because, how else would you look for anything?
Not being able to use the phone at the same time was the worst.
12) Internet Banking
There’s nothing more sobering the morning after the night before than releasing you’re now going to be eating dry toast for the next week without having to leave your bed.
Adverts can go die.
High streets might be dying but if I can save a tenner for the same jacket, I won’t be heading down the shops anytime soon.
15) Contactless Cards
A vital piece of kit when you forget your oyster card.
It’s always nice to see peoples’ faces; especially when they’re half way around the world.
Don’t pretend you’ve not even sampled it.
It’s my everything.
It’s revolutionised the way we send and receive rubbish images.
20) The Various iplayers
Again, adverts can go die.
21) The ability to update your oyster at home
Bus stops need this facility so hard.
How the shit did we cope without being able to get essentially, any media going by having to go down the shops?
23) Every computer ever
They probably wouldn’t have been designed to be as sleek, functional and useful had the internet fallen flat on its arse.
How great is music streaming?
25) Instant messaging that isn’t MSN
If that had stayed as being the big boy of IM’ing, I wouldn’t talk to a single soul.