How to beat the bouncer
The bouncer is often there just to look the part, it’s usually down to the Abercrombie model with clipboard in hand that decides whether you make the grade. That said here’s all you need to know!
Definition: A hot girl at the door with a clipboard in hand who selects who makes it into the club. Always stone faced. Usually so hot she can be excused for thinking her shit doesn’t stink.
Lets face it, one of the biggest ball aches about a night out on the town is making sure that you and your friends actually get in to the club making it past the bouncers and the Door Girl that is on charge of your fate for the night.
At any club worth going to you’ll always find one of these creatures patrolling the 5 feet of space between the velvet rope and the cashier waiting behind the a desk, stamp in hand, with your name on it! It’s pretty much always down to her whether your allowed to make it over the threshold into the club you’ve been planning on going to every since you saw a photo your favourite celebrity (link to celebrity photo album) partying there or if your off the sports bar down the road (aka reject central).
The Door Girls job is pretty simple; essentially she’s the tastemaker, perhaps quality control officer would be even more appropriate, she is the one stopping the group of lads who are a Nile Ranger face tattoo away from being the definition of the dickhead brigade, making it past the bouncers and to the dance floor, where they’ll hit on every girl till their options are exhausted and a fight ensues.
The Door Girl is also the one stopping the crew of chicks that are just back from a casting for ‘Precious 2’ making it upstairs (slowly) where a combination of dim lighting beer goggles and low standards will leave someone with a few regrets. Despite her negative tag the Door Girl is hugely important to your night. As an added bonus she’s almost always a bit of eye candy to stare at whilst you’re waiting to go in!
It’d probably be fair to say that we’ve all had the misfortune of not getting in to a club at least once in our lives…sad times! Whether it be because you have the good fortune of being fresh faced and the misfortune of forgetting your ID or maybe you were having a whale of a time pre-drinking and peaked a tad to early perhaps you just got there too late and the doors were already closed. It’s not really the end of the world, if your reading this chances are you’re not a dickhead and you’ll learn from your mistakes and be back next week nice and early, not shit faced and ID in hand.
Here are a few tips for you guys so as to make sure on your next night out you manage to beat the door girl and have a night to remember!
1. Follow the dress code!
Usually for guys this means no trainers and casual wear, however its not always that simple think Reiss or All Saints. *A designer belt does not make your outfit, those baggy jeans still look cheap and the trainers done quite cut.
Girls tend to have it a lot easier; a pair of heels and a dress will always cut it!
2. Early bird catches the worm!
Just get there early, no amount of pre drinking and FIFA will make up for getting there too late in and going to the sports bar down the road with the rest of the dickheads and Precious look-a-likes.
It’s the same for girls, the door policy for most clubs is to let the ladies on the guest list in free before 11. So if you plan on having that extra bit of cash for a few shots at the bar then being early is key!
3. Boy’s night out?
This ones a bit tricky… well not really! Nothing beats a night out with the lads, however with a group of 3 or more guys you really have to follow the first two points! If there’s anymore than 5 of you it works out cheaper getting a table than paying for drinks at the bar. Added benefits consist of queue jumps, looking like a boss and table whores (table whore blog). WINNING