Life Without Your Mobile Phone
brad pitt phone gif

No Updates, No Pictures, No Selfies: Life Without A Mobile Phone

Though it’s hard to believe, there was a time when phones were not so smart; we couldn’t carry them around in our pockets and they didn’t rule our entire lives.

A time where lol was short for “lot’s of love” and flirting happened via MSN Messanger between home time and bed time. A time where you couldn’t be late for everything because you couldn’t send a “I’m running 10 minutes behind text” and a time, where flirting had nothing to do with using the wink face emoticon.

Now imagine life, if we were still in that mobile-phone-less world:

You’d have to call people’s house phones to talk to them
Call house phone awkward gif

Followed by my old favorite: “Hi Mrs Tailor, is Jenny there?”

“Yes dear hold on… Jennnnnnnyyyy. JENNNNNY. PHONE!!! I SAID PICK UP THE PHOOOOONE. And don’t be 10 years I need to use the internet” Silence. “She’s coming dear”.

There’d be no phone calls past 9pm because you’d be scared to wake their parents up
inappropriate behavior in trouble parents strict phone gif

And since there wouldn’t be any texting either, we’d be forced to either pre-arrange actual human interactions or all become very close with our pets.

There would be no Instagram. And selfies might have never become a thing…
rhianna omg selfie shock no instagram gif

“But what if I wake up beautiful… how would everyone know?”

We’d be £40 richer every month
i'm rich bitch money bills cash mobile

Because I don’t care what kind of brilliant deal my phone company claims to offer me on an annual basis. I haven’t once got my phone bill without it being at least £15 over what I’m supposed to pay. If I didn’t have a mobile phone bill, I’m pretty confident that by now I’d be living in a three bedroom house with a walk in wardrobe and a car that doesn’t leak every time it rains.

You’d have to buy a separate alarm clock. And camera.
mobile phone alarm clock angry gif break morning sleep

Not to mention we’d have to have the “who’s bringing their camera tonight” discussion every Saturday night. Followed by what existed before the “pre night-out bedroom selfie” – the club bathroom mirror selfie.

You’d have to be on time for everything.
Romy and Michelle high school reunion got a mobile life phone gif

In a world where you can’t text someone to tell them you’re running late, if you don’t turn up on time, as far as they’re concerned, you’ve stood them up.

You’d have to learn how to make face-to-face conversation
Kim kardashian gif mermaids stupid conversation gif

The world would be much more challenging place for those lacking in personality, because you don’t have 15 minutes to think of a witty reply when talking to someone face to face and not through Whatsapp, text or Facebook DM.

You’d never have to worry about drunk texting again.
Woo Hoo Happy Drunk Gif Selina Gomez

Though on the down side, you do have to worry about drunk calling someone’s land line. Which is much, much worse.

You don’t have to freak out 27 times a day when you can’t find it.
jess new girl freaking out phone lost gif

No more patting your trouser leg, no more emptying the entire contents of your bag, no more searching between your duvet covers, no more “can you call my phone…. oh s**t it’s on silent”.

If someone’s conversationally boring the hell out of you, you can’t just “forget to reply” to their last text.
conversation boring gif

You have to suffer through till the bitter end of the conversation. Or wait till they take a long enough breath for you to butt in with “oh I have to go, my mum needs the phone”.

Have your say