Irritating things that don’t belong inside a nightclub
Nightclubs are great places! You can drink, you can dance and you get to look your best. Unfortunately in an attempt to stand out the pre-set rules have become distorted and certain irritations have begun to arise.
Below I will guide you through the top 10 irritating things that in my opinion don’t belong inside, outside or anywhere near a nightclub.
10. Choreographed dance moves
Earlier I told you that Nightclubs are a great place for people to let loose and dance the night away. Unfortunately a small section of people see this as the perfect opportunity to re-enact their latest diversity routine.
Needless to say that 99% of the time the routine is called to a halt by an uncompromising bouncer or an embarrassed friend.
9. Birthday badges
Ok it’s your 21st birthday, maybe even your 18th or 30th I get that it’s a big deal but seriously, do you REALLY need an oversized birthday badge. Sure they were great fun when we were children but then again so was musical chairs, pass-the-parcel and McDonalds happy meals but we don’t have them on our birthdays anymore do we? It’s time to let go…
I am sure that stylists and designers across the globe will disagree but for me Jumpsuits just aren’t sexy and definitely not for nightclubs. I can’t help but think of them as undersized tents or all in one-genie outfits.
I am sure that some men do find them sexy but deep down they are probably acting out some sort of Aladdin fixation.
7. Ridiculous Weave
Synthetic hair extensions make the list but only in their most ridiculous form. The type I am referring to get wet, look nasty and usually end up on the floor by the end of the night.
Add to that an array of rainbow colours that look like they have been stuck on with blue tack and we have a recipe for disaster.
6. Pints of beer
Don’t get me wrong I enjoy drinking a cold pint on a hot summers day as much as the next person but remember we are talking about nightclub here. Call me judgemental but sipping on a Fosters in the middle of the dance floor just looks plain wrong. What next? Whip out the Sunday paper and whack on your reading glasses. Not for me.
5. Prada “shoes” and Gucci belts
As standalone brands Gucci and Prada are major players on the fashion scene. That being said as popular as they are in the fashion world they have been chosen as the brand of choice by ‘rude boys’. They have jumped on the bandwagon and ruined it for everyone – think Chavs and Burberry hats. Now the sight of a male group in Prada shoes and Gucci Belts immediately sets off alarm bells in bouncers, club managers and guests alike.
4. Your mum
I do not want to party with your mum. No matter how ‘cool’ or ‘young’ or ‘young at heart’ she is. Seriously. Leave her at home. Anyone with a child who is old enough to enter should not be inside the Nightclub. End of
3. Flat shoes
Now we are approaching the real irritations and in at number 3 are flat shoes. Usually accompanied by a pair of 10-year-old jeans flat shoes are just not Nightclub worthy. Why any woman would want to party in her number 3 park outfit is beyond me but for some reason it happens, and happens often.
2. Hen accessories
*notice the beers, a double whammy!
Hen parties on paper are ideal for Nightclubs. Large female groups all eager to celebrate and have a good time what could be better? Unfortunately, they often come with a host of accessories that instantly give you that Benidorm 18-30s holiday feel. Fancy dress I can accept… Hen Sashes I can tolerate… but I draw the line at giant inflatable dildos. Add to that a selection of masks, stickers and Hen ‘games’ and I have a solid contender for number 1 on this list. That is until I see…
My number 1 irritation that does not belong inside a Nightclub is Sunglasses. The site of a P Diddy or Amber Rose wannabe struggling to negate their way around the Club is certainly amusing but also highly irritating. If you yourself are someone that wears these inside a Nightclub I have a brilliant tutorial for you as to why they shouldn’t be worn.
They are called SUN-glasses and it is called a NIGHT-club. The two should never be united. Ever! CONCLUSION
There we have it, from 10-to-1 gradually getting worse I think I have covered the bases and outlined true Nightclub irritations.
Comment if I left out anything or if for some reason you disagree!