You Know You’re Getting Old When You Get Excited About New Tea Towels & Oven Gloves
There comes a point in one’s life when you realise, ‘Shit, I’m getting old!’ If you have had this epiphany moment already, then you are ahead of the game and will empathise fully with these tell tale signs. If, on the other hand, you are afraid to admit it but these points seem familiar to you, then I am sorry to tell you… you are getting old!
It doesn’t matter that you are only twenty-something and just starting your adult life; there are somethings you just don’t care for anymore, and others where you and your mother have in common.
1) Tea towels, oven gloves and throw blankets excite you.
Walking into a store and seeing this seasons tea towels, state-of-the-art oven gloves, throw blankets and decorative pillows genuinely excites you. You love flipping through magazines with pristine show rooms and dreaming of a house in the countryside. Why spend your time reading Cosmo when you can peruse House and Home?
2) A hangover is a near-death experience
Looking back at when you were 18 complaining about your ‘mega-hangover’ is laughable. Compared to now, it was a walk in the park. Your hangover takes at least 36 long and painful hours to recover from. So while you are at the bar buying the next round, you are already thinking about your impending hangover and how tragic it will be. You say no to mixing drinks, and tend to stick to white wine to keep the pain to a minimum.
3) You would rather never go abroad again than go to Ibiza
What could be worse than spending a week (and some hard earned dollar) on a week in a hedonistic party town? You would much rather a cultural city break or a relaxing beach holiday where you can work your way through your Amazon reading list.
4) You ideal Sunday morning is NOT with your head in the toilet
After a stressful week at work, and the one you know is about to come, your ideal Sunday morning is relaxing in bed with the newspaper, a cafetiere of freshly ground Arabica bean coffee while listening to Radio 2. You can think of no better way to start the day, before doing your homely chores before settling in for another early night.
5) You would rather risk the TV spoilers on Twitter than see it live
Why bother staying up until 10pm to watch your television favourites when you can watch them on catch-up the next day at a much more sensible hour. You don’t even care that the plot twists will be all over your social media and everyone will be talking about them in the office the next day.
6) You pretend to have plans, to avoid making other plans
On a Friday night, all you want to do is order take-out and binge watch Breaking Bad but you know your friends would totally judge you. To avoid the judging and invites all-together, you make faux plans so you can spend some one-on-one time with your Netflix account.
7) You voted for Gareth Gates when Will Young won Pop Idol
You remember, like it was yesterday, dialling in frantically for Gareth to win the first series of Pop Idol. You hated Pete Waterman and this was a time when the media loved Simon Colwell. The novelty was exhilarating and so was watching the series. Now, you could think of nothing worse.
8) Your shopping trolley is full of organic, free trade and gluten-free products
You have a keen interest in your health and where your food is sourced. No ready-meals or carb-overloads. You love supporting locally-grown food and finding new ways in which to spice up your meals.
9) You are friends with less people than you have on Facebook
You have realised that you actually hate people. You have your five friends who you adore and 10 more who you tolerate; everyone else is a w*nker. You are so apathetic to this, that you can’t even be bothered to cleanse your friends list on Facebook (plus you don’t want to remove the allusion of being a social butterfly just yet.)
10) You would rather wear flats than get blisters
Gone are the days where you used to bear with the pain of wearing on-trend heels. You would rather wear your sensible, reliable and forever-loved Russell & Bromley loafers than totter around in a pair of glamorous Louboutins. Not only, your hectic life doesn’t have time to triple to time it takes to get from A to B and at least this way you can zoom past the wandering tourists on the tube (ain’t nobody got time for that.)