Lets Face Facts: We’re Only Friends When You’re Not In A Relationship!
There are two types of friends. Friends for life. And friends who bide their time until they get into a relationship, at which point they disappear off the face of the earth, only to reemerge when and if the relationship comes to an end.
In fact if it wasn’t for their constant relationship selfies popping up on your Instagram timeline you might even be worried about them having potentially been kidnapped or murdered by whoever it is they were last seen dating.
Their first date was a month ago, which incidentally was around the last time they showed signs of life.
It starts like this:
So it turns out, your friend who just “loves going out” only loved it so much because that was their primary means of meeting a potential partner.
Now they’ve met someone it’s bye-bye clubbing and hello romantic nights in.
It’s not that they don’t appreciate all the good times you had together, they just want different things now. You want to enjoy your life and they want to stay at home enjoying their partners company
Instead of attempting to time manage, they slowly faze you out of their new busy, romance filled schedule. One unanswered text at a time.
Three missed calls, two unanswered texts followed by a half baked “sorry, just been busy” text before continued silence. Somethings not right.
There’s only so many times anyone can use being “tired” or “busy” or “broke” as an excuse for not going out on a Friday night before the truth becomes abundantly clear.
Especially since, despite their apparently “busy schedule” they manage to see “the bae” 5 times a week and upload narrative pictures onto their Facebook timeline.
When will you people ever learn, not to make someone their entire life, because when if it ends they’ll be left with nothing.
The problem is, that people in relationships automatically believe that their single friends are “jealous” of them. But in all honesty you’re probably out having too much fun to actually care.
It’s not that you’re happy that it didn’t work out. Honestly it’s not *puts champagne away*.
Because despite the “good times” you have no plans to re-adopt them. It’s just that, after months of begging them to come out, you’re looking forward to them coming crawling back to you.
Be sure to expect a very predictable “I’ve missed you guys… we never go out any more”. To which you can reply “No, you don’t ever go out. But I do”.
They can send as many “we should go out this weekend” texts as they like.
They’ve shown their true colours now and have been officially demoted from best friend to ‘someone who uses us for our company when they’re single’.
Sure they might claim that they’ve been genuinely busy and under so much stress these last months, but no one’s buying it.
They moved on and made it acceptable for you to move on too.
Because when it comes to fake friends, most of us already have more than we would like.