Why Men Are Scared To Talk To You In A Club
Whenever a hot girl goes on a night out and doesn’t get chatted up, her friends console her with “I think guys just find you intimidating” or “it’s because you’re so pretty guys just assume you will reject them!” Which is always nice to hear, but is any of it true?
Are you being ignored because you’re unapproachable? Or are you being ignored because you’re just not as pretty as you think.
Assuming a guy actually thinks you’re hot, there are only two things which will stop him from coming up to you in a club. The first is that he fears rejection. The second is that you look kind of familiar and he’s worried that you might know his girlfriend.
Cheating boyfriend bit aside, it seems logical to say that if you look like you’re an expert in rejecting men, you automatically fall into the “don’t even bother” category. But what does such a girl look like?
1. You look angry. And who would blame you? You’ve been at this club for 20 minutes and not one guy has so much as smiled at you! But scowling won’t help the situation.
Smiley girls are happy girls and happy girls don’t bite a guy’s head off for saying hello.
2. You’re overly confident. It’s nothing personal and in any other situation confidence might work in a girls favour. But in a club, the quiet girl who is sitting alone at the bar while her other friends get off with guys, is a much easier target.
3. Total sobriety. I’m not saying that guys find it easier to pick up drunk chicks (although they do). I’m saying that if you’re on Cranberry and Ice all night you don’t exactly look like you’re out to have fun.
4. You’re spotted rejecting other guys. Girl to girl, I get it, there’s nothing more annoying than trying to have a dance with your girls and getting thrusted on by some weirdo on the dance floor who seems to think he got his dance moves from Brian Friedman himself. But turning around and shouting “FUCK OFF” is probably going to alert every other guy in ear shot that you do not appreciate being hit on.
In future just smile politely, turn around, lean in and whisper in his ear “push that thing into my back one more time and I’ll snap it off”.
5. Too much attitude. Despite what they like to think, men actually quite easily scared. No one wants to get attitude from someone they’re trying to chat up, so remember “I can get my own thanks” is never the right answer to “Can I buy you a drink?”
6. You’re standing in a huge group of girls. Women in clubs tend to act like packs of wolves, but believe it or not, hunting in large groups is not always most effective. As soon as a girl enters a club she seems to become incapable of getting a drink alone, walking to the toilet alone or so much as reapplying lipstick without her little army of black dresses following suit.
Most men act like nothing fazes them, but the truth is, no one wants to be rejected in front of an audience so you’re more likely to get chatted up if you part from the pack for 5 minutes. Grab just one friend and go get a drink or venture out to the smoking area.
7. You’re avoiding eye contact. When you make eye contact with a guy, to them it roughly translates to “you may come and speak to me now”.
You may be avoiding eye contact in a bid to not seem like you’re staring at them, but to a guy it means “I saw you check me out and the answer is no thank you, I’d rather stare at the ceiling than at your face”.
If of course despite your best efforts to seem friendly and approachable, the guy you’ve had your eye on all night decides to chat up your best friend up instead, the only advice I have left is, next time wear a tighter more cleavage friendly dress.
No matter what I say, your personality can only do 50% of the work, the rest my friends is down to looks.
Follow Miranda on Twitter @mirandalife