Nightclub girls you should never introduce to your mother
Most girls arriving at the club tend to look like HOT. Banging, from their perfect blown out hair down to their perfect pedicured toes. No surprise after the regimented routine we take in getting ready for a big night out, think birthdays, Boxing Day and New Years!
4 drinks 3 shots and several club bangers the hotties have let their hair down, unencumbered by inhibitions and free from the pain of the 5-inch heels. It’s now that a lot of the women that on a physical level seemed so perfect are swallowed up by the dance-floor and are spat out by the devils minions.
Now you must search high and low for that girl worth buying a few drinks for, warning though you are about to encounter at least one if not all ten (unlucky mate) of these women you need to avoid.
The Table Whore
A term we are all familiar with. This is the girl who finds herself at any table that has bottle service and a glamorous waitress hosting the area.
She didn’t come out with any cash because she aimed to arrive before 11.00 and she doesn’t need to worry about paying for a cab because she either won’t be going home, someone will give her a lift back or will be lucky enough to have her cab paid for.
Gold digger alert.
The Barefoot Babe
This girl looks like she knows how to have a good time, she’s radiating beauty, laughing, dancing, singing, drinking. You start making your way over to her, at last you’re face to face, she looks good you eye her up and dow- wait where are her shoes?
You look around wondering if she’s lost them and then you realise she took them off and she’s been dancing around in the club amongst all the spilt drinks and grime on the floor.
Deep down you know that if you were to pull there is a chance her grimy feet rubbing up against you.
On to the next one.
The See Through Dress Diva/The Butt Cheeks Hanging Out Beauty
She’s the sexy one swanning around with all eyes on her.
She knows exactly what she’s doing. She has girls hating and side eyeing her outfit, and she has guys circling the club looking for her.
One sudden movement and you’ll know the colour of her frenchies, or lack of even!
Tacky girl, leave it out.
The Hands On Wall Twerker
This is the female equivalent of The Revolving Grinder, she will back that ass up on to anyone with a crotch male or female. If no one is insight she will back it up and twerk it on that wall.
The Drunk/The Vomit Front
This is the girl who’s probably holidayed in Magaluf, Faliraki, Kavos and been on an episode of Sun, Sex, and Suspicious Parents. There’s a chance she has knowledge of the “Tactical chunder” so be prepared for more vomiting and getting drunk and vomiting.
She’s a combo of The Druggy and The Messy Dancer she probably has elements of The Look We’re Lesbians But Not Really and let’s not lie she’s probably a bit of the The Barefoot Babe.
This is the girl who looks like she’s falling out of her own face.
She’s taken two ecstasy pills, chased it with champagne, swallowed acid paper, took some dizz, rubbed some coke on her gums and chased it all down with vodka eye shots.
You DON’T want to be around that when she has her come down.
Move along ASAP and maybe have paramedics on standby.
The Toffee Nosed Bitch
This is the girl who has mastered the talent to bend over backwards and stick her head up her own peachy backside.
She’s the prim and perfect Goddess who looks pretentious and snobby, you would of thought her name was Victoria or Sophie and lives the life of a Made in Chelsea cast member.
Gap Yah I hear you say!
The Messy Dancer
She’s dancing to the beat of her own drum, her eyes are closed and she’s in her zone.
‘She ain’t worried bout nutten, she ain’t worried bout nutten, she ain’t worried bout nutten’.
Best to leave her and her no rhythm self to it.
The Look We’re Lesbians But Not Really
These are the two hot girls, gyrating on each other, looking like they having crazy dry lesbian sex.
They’re kissing sexier than they do in those movies you have to pay for all the way down on the tv guide.
Attention seeking much?
Do you have time for that? If you were hoping to take both of them home chances are it was only for show Next.
The One Having A Domestic With Her Man In A Corner
You may think she is vulnerable, however please, please steer clear of her.You definitely want to stay well away from her!
She is an emotional mess and there is a high possibility that she will flip and become a rowdy, psycho ratchet chick itching for a fight.Female goon I hear you say?.
By Annie P