An Open Letter To The Gym Wankers: Stop With The Constant Gym Tweets And Selfies
Firstly, this isn’t one of those ‘out of shape lonely writer hates all gym goers’ type posts. I go to my gym pretty frequently and still find it strange some people see that it should define a huge part of their lives.
Every day my Instagram and Twitter feeds are full of people informing the world they’re off to the gym for an hour. “#GymFlow“…”Going In At The Gym“…”It’s Like My 2nd Home“…”#beastmode“………….E-V-E-R-Y single day.
If your gym had a roller-coaster and bouncy castle instead of a sauna full of old overweight men, Floyd Mayweather training in the back and Rihanna coming in to do her squats in front of you, maybe, just maybe I could accept the constant updates. If like most of us, your gym is just a room of machines, weights and sweaty people grunting and moaning, it’s really nothing to shout about is it? It’s just a gym.
The thing is, we wanna see results not selfies. You’ve gotta work more than the muscles in your fingers. Don’t tell me you pay membership every month and all you do is use the mirrors? Selfies won’t get you that summer body, you cant tweet your way into shape. If you’re gonna constantly tweet about being in the gym at least do something whilst you’re there. It’s pretty obvious you’ve not been sticking to your squat challenge, its been 6 months and you’re still more Miley than Nicki.
Let’s be totally honest here, the gym is boring, everything about it is boring. When they create a machine that can give you muscles without picking up a weight (it’s definitely gonna happen btw), I’m sure the numbers of people in there would decrease rapidly. The majority don’t go because its fun but because they feel it’s necessary. There’s nothing wrong with that but don’t go on like you’ve found the secret wardrobe to Narnia. It’s just a gym, there’s thousands in the country. Why is it so hard for people to just get in, work out and go home?
Running isn’t fun or interesting. You’re running on a treadmill, in the same spot, looking at the wall for ages. The only exercise I do in one place I change position after a while if it gets boring and I usually have a female partner with me. I don’t have to go into further detail do I? That’s fun, running on the spot isn’t.
Think back to when the Olympic Games were staged in London. Did you care about the weightlifting events? Do you know anyone that went to the weightlifting events? Can you give me the name of one weightlifter (without using Google!?). Of course you can’t. Cos nobody cares, it’s boring and tedious. What makes anyone think that I’d take even a second out of my day to have a chat with them about how many reps they banged out last night?
These day’s I’m finding what’s worse than the actual gym chat is the diet chat that goes with it. Public declarations of “HEY EVERYONE I’M EATING CLEAN” or “I’M LOVING THIS NUT & SEED DIET” really means “I’m miserable from having to eat hamster feed and trying too hard to convince myself I’m ok with it”.
Life’s way too short to be counting the calories of every meal and checking the back of packets for things you didn’t care about a month ago. If you do decide bread and pasta are now evil and you want to embark on a gluten-free diet, then go ahead. Just a suggestion, don’t start suddenly policing everyone around you and their meals.
A friend of mine used to try and convert all of us onto her new diet (she’d literally hold lectures at the restaurant table) and trap you, a bit like the Jehovah’s Witnesses at your doorstep. You know what happened with her? The same thing that happens with them, AVOID. She wasn’t invited the last time we went out to dinner and I happily tucked into my dessert without the sound of “ermmm you know how much sugars in that?” over my shoulder.
This isn’t me knocking the gym, not at all. We’ve all seen those pictures of people before and after undergoing great transformations in a few months. These are the people that deserve all the praise for their hard work. The situation we’re in now is people want the same kind of praise on a day to day basis, before they’ve done any work. It’s boring and ironically, it’s completely lazy.