He Puts In ZERO Effort Compared To When You First Met Him, Are You Sure You’re Even Dating The Same Guy
Women need romance. WE CRAVE IT. Whether we want to admit it or not, it kind of turns us on. Men on the other hand, are only ever romantic because they know it will get them into a woman’s good books (or good pants even).
Let’s be honest, being on a date is kind of like taking part in a show called “look how fantastic I am“. By which logic, men are romantic for the same reason that women wear low cut dresses. You both want to bring your A-game to the date.
In all honesty, men neither need or particularly want it, it’s just something they have to do, to seal the deal. Once you’re a ‘sure thing’ the romance… well it tends to slide.
5 months ago:
The problem is, that romance doesn’t come with any fine print or terms and conditions. They’re implied but no one actually states them. So women tend to get a bit confused when the relationship takes a sudden turn from flowers and restaurants to onesies and ham and cheese toasties.
It started off with grand gestures and constant sweet talk, so had you imagined what things would look like down the line, it would have been a picture of romance and perfection:
But fast forward some time and instead, this is much closer to what your relationship looks like:
What to do about it: Go to all the amazing places you want to go, with your girls instead. Don’t invite him. Then rave about what an amazing time you had.
Men are simple creatures. His attitude will soon change from “sure go have fun” to “why don’t we ever go places like that together?” Incidentally the correct answer isn’t “because you never offer to take me you lazy a***ole”” but an adorably patronizing “oh baby I didn’t think it was your scene”.
What to do about it: Nag him. Us women are good at that.
He probably used to buy you presents because, well that’s just men’s way of saying “we should have sex now”. But since he no longer needs to worry about coaxing you into his bedroom, the gifts are out, along with the foreplay and candles.
If you want to be back in the cute gift exchanging part of your relationship, consider buying him a spontaneous present next time you’re out. Remind him what a thoughtful sweetheart you are and maybe he’ll actually want to return the favour.
What to do about it: Be a cement truck. Mix things up.
Men do like foreplay, but only the parts which suit them. If you’re too embarrassed to actually ask for what you want, just try reminding him about the pre-headboard banging parts of your love life.
If he doesn’t feel obliged to return the favour, then you’re going to have to turn to plan B. Look bored during sex and make him feel the need to up his game.
What to do about it: Get a hobby. Go shoe shopping. Join the gym.
Obviously when you first start dating, he wanted to see you all the time. You were cute and hot and he needed to make sure all your time was taken up so you wouldn’t have any free gaps in which you could meet anyone else.
But now you’re together, he can’t see you every day, he has a job and a life. Plus, how on earth are you meant to do anything else if you’re seeing your man 6 out of the 7 days of the week? You got work, friends and a social life to maintain too, trust me, be thankful for the free time.
What to do about it: If you’re always inviting him out with your friends, but he keeps you as far from his boys as possible, there are three possible reasons.
1. He’s got something to hide and doesn’t want one of his boys to let it slip. 2. He doesn’t see the point of fully integrating you into his life, because he doesn’t think you’re going to be there for very long. 3. He’s lazy and can’t be bothered.
At the beginning he needed you to meet them, to show you what a fun, sociable and popular guy he was. Now you’ve received the message, you’re back to stalking his nights out on Facebook instead of in person. The only thing you can do, is stop inviting him out with your friends too.
Men tend to change their perspective on things when you start to treat them, like they treat you.
What to do about it: Once, twice, three times it’s fine. Sometimes the best part of dating someone is being able to do absolutely nothing with them. But if your dates nights are fast becoming sofa nights, you need to snap out of it and fast, because the step after this involves sex with unshaved legs, earlier bed times and old age.
If he isn’t taking the hint to take you out, just book spontaneous stuff without asking him. So while you’re saying “I’ve booked a surprise for you” you really mean “I’ve booked a surprise for me”. He thinks you’re awesome and you get an excuse to slip out of your onesie and into something less comfortable every once in a while.
What to do about it: When you first start dating, he generally liked to splash his cash. Rich or not, he wanted to show you that his back pocket is always full of fifties.
Some months down the line and he’s realised that pretending to have money, is pretty expensive, so he stops. He has his own s**t to spend money on, and believe it or not, Louboutin’s and expensive cocktails aren’t on the top of his priority list.
The solution? Get a job and start going halves. Or if that isn’t your cup of tea, then date someone who is actually rich, instead of someone who just pretends to be.