Ridiculous Brits Abroad: The 7 Ways To Spot A Fellow Brit On Holiday
Your summer holiday is the two weeks of the year that gets you through the slog of the other 50. It’s what gets you up on those cold, dark February mornings and what prevents you having a mental breakdown on the evening rush hour tube.
For 14 days of the year, you’re allowed to let your hair down and do whatever you please and us Brits do it better than most.
Okay, so our reputation isn’t great among Europe for our tendency to turn beach hot-spots into Southend for a couple of months each year but we’re not all that bad. Aside from the booze and the beaches, one of the best parts about holidays abroad is meeting some fellow Brits abroad and sometimes they’re all too easy to spot…
Not content with ruining the Spanish coastline for a fortnight each year, Brits actually think wearing matching T-shirts with personalised slogans on the back, applauding their supposed debauchery, is a good idea. But it’s a sure fire way to spot a fellow Brit if you wanted to find out the Premier League scores or what happened on Corrie last night.
They’ve barely left UK time and they’re already red as a lobster. Horrifically bad tan lines are a tell-tale sign of a Brit abroad.
After burning to a crisp on day one, Brits panic by lathering on the sun tan lotion. It ensures the burn pains from the first day aren’t allowed to get any worse but you look absolutely ridiculous poolside.
Is it any wonder the British are viewed unfavorably by the rest of Europe? Every weekend we scoff our faces with the same old greasy combination of sausages, bacon and fried eggs so you’d think we’d want a break from that heart-attack inducing starter to our day whilst on holiday? Nope. Brits like it even more and order it nearly every bloody morning ‘cos we’re proper English.
They’re almost always from Burnley as well.
Why is it that the British can’t be like every other nation and at least try to adopt the holiday destination’s language for two weeks? We’re so incapable, that’s why. We’ve become so accustomed to everybody else conforming to English that if we’re put outside of our comfort zone for even a minute, we panic. And that’s only when we’re deciding which pizza to order.
Did you know that 44% of Toblerone’s sold in Britain are sold at Duty Free? Now you do. So when you’re at Magaluf airport, trying to ask someone for the time, try to spot someone with either an extra large Toblerone of a carton of cigarette’s popping out the side of their hand-luggage.
It’s a safe bet they’ll know the time, in English.