Rumour Has It, Ladies Prefer A Late Night Spanking To Snuggling
When guys say: “do you want to come over and watch a movie” we all kind of know that it actually means: “do you want to come over and get it on whilst The Notebook plays in the background?”
Just like when a guy says “do you want to get out of here?” he actually means “do you want get out of here and get it on?”
Women on the other hand are kind of different. Not in their desires but in their ability to express them.
Till now it has been believed that men and women’s interests vary massively when it comes to after dark activities. Not entirely true. We’re just slightly less obvious with our “getting you into bed” tactics.
I’ll admit wearing face-masks and eating cream cheese bagels in our onesies is clearly not working in the come-on department. I can’t imagine why men aren’t getting the hint. So in hopes of keeping the loving alive, I’d like to set a few things straight.
First of all, we are not all obsessed with “snuggling”. That’s actually just our code word for sex. And there’s more…
I suppose Robin Thicke was right after all. Though don’t let him know we said that.
If you think about it, “lets snuggle” is basically us saying “lets spend the next hour in bed rubbing our bodies together”. From there, make of that what you will.
I think you get the jist.
If a girl is complaining that she’s cold, whilst wearing 2 pairs of socks, a jumper, a bath robe and slippers then she’s just cold. Leave her alone and go get her a hot water bottle.
If she’s wearing little more than underwear and is trying to use you for “body warmth” then I’m pretty confident in saying that she’s not cold at all, (though raising both your body temperatures is something she has in mind).
Women know that many men have a fear of the “post sex cling”. Which is basically where women sleep with a man and then automatically consider them to be their boyfriends. So they lie to get you into bed.
Oh don’t look so shocked. When it comes to lying to get people into bed, I think the male species is definitely on a whole different playing field, so allow us this one.
I’m not even talking filthy pictures here. Because, well, you don’t need me to explain those to you. But I assure you her “in bed with no makeup.. while actually wearing make up” selfie was perfectly staged with undertones of “I know you want me” and “my bed has room for two you know”.
Thank you Gwyneth. Perfectly put.
Sorry. Don’t rush out to buy condoms just yet.
Although since you’ve already put your jacket on feel free to go fetch a share size pack of cheesy Doritos for the movie…