Why Saying Too Much Is Killing Your Love Life
Ladies, the only thing you should be revealing to a man you’ve just met, is a little bit of thigh, because when it comes to dating, less really is more (and no I’m not just talking about clothes).
It is as though one day, women woke up and thought: “forget this, I’m done pretending to be perfect, I’m going to say it how it is and if he doesn’t like it he can sod off!” A touching sentiment, for a minute or two until it dawns on us that, actually, men like the false fantasy we have been feeding them.
Don’t hate them for it, we like it too. Do you really think that every man you meet goes to the gym three times a week, is massively ambitious and secretly loves Beauty and the Beast? That’s just what they tell us because: “sometimes I pull sickies so I can play Xbox in my pyjamas” isn’t the stuff getting into girls pants are made of.
I’m not saying you should outright lie, but at the very least omit, and you can start with all of the following:
“Men are such arseholes…”
I get it, we all at some point or another want to bludgeon a member of the opposite sex with a hard but easily disposable object. But to be honest, it’s not the best conversation starter.
“I’ve been really hurt”
Just in case the “I hate men” rant didn’t drive the point home enough. In movies, the hurt and emotionally unavailable girls are a sexy yet adorable challenge men want to “fix” and “love”. In reality you’re damaged goods. No guy wants a relationship, where he has to pay for the last guys mistakes.
OMG I love Sex and the City sooo much. Do you think I’m more Samantha or Carrey?
Which probably falls into the same category as “what do you mean you haven’t seen the Notebook!?” Let me clarify, every guy has seen the Notebook, or at least, the first three minutes of it. It is the classic “want to come to mine to watch a movie” movie. If they’ve seen the whole thing, the chances are they’re not very good in the art of bedroom seduction.
“Dating is so much hard work”
Admittedly, some dates can only be described as ‘a waste of mascara’ but if you openly start off with that attitude, he’s just not going to bother to try.
Some girls want to spend their lives in bed with a hot man, fighting over who gets the last of the Smartie ice cream. Other girls would rather be in bed alone, where they don’t need to worry about brushing their teeth or sharing their food. If you are the latter, keep it to yourself. Apparently, it’s not considered a turn on.
“My ex was…”
Snooooze. Have you not bitched about that useless man-whore enough to your friends? Their ears are still bleeding from your last rant; must you really submit someone else to the “all men are the same” lecture and if so, do you really think now is the time or the place?
“I have a poster of David Beckham on my ceiling. It came unstuck once in the middle of the night… that’s the most action I’ve had in months”
Reporting a dry spell could go one of many ways. But if it is romance you’re after, remember he could well take this to mean you just really really need a bang (in which case expect an imminent invite to come over and watch The Notebook).
I would dump a guy if he didn’t pay on a first date
Well yes, but don’t let him know that. Since 2005 when Gold Digger made it to the number one spot, every guy has become obsessed with women being after them for their money (whether they have any… or not).
Of course, if it was a sugar daddy we were after, we’d be in Beverly Hills where Kim met Kanye, not in a bar during 2 for 1 cocktail hour. But then again, maybe you should also add that to your list of things not to mention too.
Follow Miranda on Twitter @mirandalife