#SELFIE: A Truly Awful Song
I didn’t know that this existed until roughly 10 minutes ago and I can, secure in my statement, that I’ve never been more repulsed in three minutes and 43 seconds as I was watching The Chainsmokers video for ‘#SELFIE’. I really don’t know where to begin.
I do a lot of work for various music publications so I would consider myself to have at least a small amount of authority on the subject of music criticism. #SELFIE is everything that is wrong with music right now. Big beats, a pointless subject matter and an incredibly self-indulgent video, thrown in for good measure, represent one of the worst things that music has given us this year.
After songs like ‘Sexy and I Know It’, ‘Gentleman’ and pretty much anything Will.I.Am. put his hand to post-2003, my sincerest hopes were that the human populace were about to turn a corner. One less obsessed with big beats and bullshit peddlers. It would appear the peddlers still exist as they always will. Shame on you, Chainsmokers. Not only will your lungs be irreparably damaged come later life, your grandchildren will be physically sick when they hear the aural equivalent of a car crash you once produced.
As it stands, ‘#SELFIE’ currently has over 10.5 million hits. That figure is by no means an error, I assure. This is a track that features the genius lyrics of “Because he was totally texting me all night last night”. Damn, that’s deep. Bob Dylan must be giving himself a cold, weary stare in the mirror and questioning how it was that he allowed such wordplay to escape him.
I’m going to pre-empt this one, too. I reject that this is a satirical attempt to raise the looking glass up to the face of our generation’s taste. It’s just a diabolical track.
There are just two good things to come out of this. I now understand what ‘ratchet’ means in the states (“A diva, mostly from urban cities and ghettos, that has reason to believe she is every man’s eye candy.” Nice one, Urban Dictionary) and this incredible vine. These guys have done the song justice for sure.