Single Girls Guide To Valentine’s Day
Valentine’s Day is approaching and the only hot date you have planned is with your Netflix account?
Secretly contemplating sending yourself a card just so your postman doesn’t give you a pitiful look alongside your phone bill on February 14th?
Already have 3 hysterical Valentine’s-Day-was-invented-by-florists tweets saved in your drafts?
Don’t worry. You’re not alone. Well, you are… but so are a lot of other people, so try and let that be of some comfort for you, as you spend the night at home, revisiting your fears of dying alone.
If of course by some crazy twist of optimism, you choose not to spend the night online shopping for cats, here are some things that might actually cheer you up, this Valentine’s Day:
February 15th is official chocolate discount day:
You know all those ridiculously expensive heart shaped boxes filled with chocolate calories? They’re all going on sale. And since you have no one to show off your naked body to, you can eat until you fall into a sugar induced coma.
No one judges you for drinking alone:
Valentine’s day for single people is kind of like New Years or your Birthday. Being drunk alone at home is not only acceptable, it’s probably expected of you.
No one cares if you act like a bitch:
Being a sarcastic bitch the other 364 days of the year is usually frowned upon. If you’re single on Valentine’s Day however, people are more than happy to laugh along to your man hating, love hating, couple hating comments.
Buy new shoes with the money you would have spent on presents and GO OUT!
I know what you’re thinking… what could possibly better than a romantic dinner for two? How about a kissing booth at a boat party on the Thames? Yeah, betcha didn’t think of that did you.
As long as you have a single partner in crime, there’s no reason that Valentine’s Day has to be spent at home crying at The Notebook while bitterly tweeting about films creating unrealistic expectations of love.
You get to spend quality time with the person you love the most:
The number of hot bad boy singles is about to spike:
February 15th is hot pickings. Every guy who forgot to get their girlfriend a Valentine’s Day card, every boyfriend who chose to see his boys instead of his girl and every boyfriend who didn’t so much as bother with a Valentine’s text, is back on the market! (Lucky you).
Okay so if it works out, in a year’s time it will be you he ‘forgets’ to buy flowers for, but who cares, there’s another 365 days before you have to worry about that!
Plus for now, you both have a little something in common: a mutual hatred for all things Valentine.