Does Size Matter ? - Xclusive Touch

Does Size Matter ?

Xclusive Touch

GUT SIZE

Does Size Matter ?

As a nation we’ve generally agreed that bigger is better.

It’s always a case of Big Mac over Cheeseburger, 6 inch stillettos over kitten heels and Venti over Tall (for those of you who still don’t understand what Starbucks is going on about, that roughly translates to “I’m going to need more coffee in that”).

Double food portions aside, does size matter when about when it comes to men too? Well, yes… but exactly how much?

HEIGHT:

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Vertically challenged men are fine, as long as they like equally miniscule women. Let’s be honest, shorter men have a hard time of it and I guarantee you it’s got nothing to do with this “wanting to feel protected by a big strapping man” bullshit. It’s the age of metrosexuality and we’ve all stopped expecting men to save us (these days they’re niftier with their combs than with their fists).

The truth is most women won’t date a man who is shorter than them in their favourite heels. So if you’re a couple of centimetres off, just sneak a hacksaw into her walk in wardrobe and start chopping.

I’m not going to sugar-coat it, tall men are hot. We like the feeling that they can throw us over their shoulder and take us upstairs (as opposed to the other way around).

But being short does have its benefits… for one, being further away from the sun probably means less skin damage. Why do you think Tom Cruise has aged so fantastically? And he doesn’t seem to have a problem with the ladies.

WALLET SIZE:

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Love is great. But you know what’s even greater… love and Louboutins. In an age where women earn just as much as men (if not more) we don’t necessarily need a man to pave our way to Harrods with twenties. That being said we still want someone whose wallet is lined with something other than Groupon vouchers.

When it comes to money, we want someone who has it, but doesn’t go on about it. Yes we love it when you take us out for dinner and we don’t have to chip in for half, but no we don’t need to know how much you have in your bank. 

TAB SIZE:

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When Spencer Matthews tweeted his £500k bar bill last week, the general consensus amongst gold diggers the country over was “I need to get a piece of that”. Then the story ran that it was a misprint and they all pulled their knickers back up and continued on with their everyday lives.

The moral of the story is, the bigger the bar tab, the bigger the slut you’ll attract. Classy women like a modest man. I repeat modest, not stingy. By all means buy a bottle at Mia Bella on a Saturday night; just don’t buy 27 of them.

TROUSER BULDGE:

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It matters okay. But don’t stuff a zucchini down the front of your skinny jeans just yet. Whilst some women say “bigger is always better” others say “I don’t want to be scared of it!” The conclusion? Within reason, most of us don’t actually care too much, as long as it isn’t weird looking.

GUT SIZE:

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In a bid to prove that women are not sizeist, we’re ending on a note which proves bigger isn’t always better. When women say they want a man with a six pack, they don’t mean of beer.

Don’t worry, you don’t need to have been featured on the cover of Men’s Health, if you are more bulge then you are buff just dust off the gym membership every once in a while and go do some squats or something (picking up the remote control off the floor does not count).

By going to the gym every once in a while, you can allow her to think there’s a mild chance one day you’ll stay in there long enough and come out looking like Channing Tatum. After all what else is a relationship based on, if not unrealistic hope?

Follow me on Twitter @mirandalife

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