Twerking for dummies
Miley Cyrus and twerking are now inextricably linked probably for ever. It is however Iggy Azelea that inspires me to werk it! For those of you in the dark check out her amazing video. She is an inspiration to us all.
After Miley’s infamous display at VMA’s along side Robin Thicke in his beetle juice suit, Twerking became hugely popular with even my mum having a faint grasp of what the dance entails. Luckily she’s thought it inappropriate to actually try it.
London has recently hosted the UK Twerking Championships. Say what? You didn’t know there existed such a thing? I am astounded. With tickets going at, er, £8, they were clearly high in demand, £4 if you hit up a Groupon deal. Hottest tickets in town I tell you. Now I may sound pretty sarky, but this genuinely sold out. The winner walked away with a well earned £200 after competing in rounds such as ‘The Jelly Round’ (LOL) in which dancers were not allowed to move anything but their booty. The ‘Off the Wall’ round saw the girls attempt to impress by doing a handstand against the wall before shaking their stuff.
Do you know how to twerk?
Apparently a lot of Australians are learning…it was the 7th most popular Google search beginning with ‘how to’ in 2012. Brilliant, there you go, what a cracking start to conversation if you meet an Australian when you’re out. If they are one of those who found out how, they may even pass on their knowledge on to you to make for a wonderful clubbing night and a lovely romantic story to tell all your friends how you met if you stay in touch.
Twerking is essentially rapidly contracting your pelvic muscles to thrust and thrust fast. Sounds technical right? Let’s not over complicate it, thinking it through like this may lead to some awkward as hell dancing. This is only funny if done by your friend in an attempt to pull and you video it on your phone.
How to twerk:
Squat with the feet slightly turned out, hands on the hips.
Pump the pelvis back and forth.
To accentuate, drop even lower with the hands on the knees.
Experiment with various positions, for example:
One leg up against the wall.
In the splits.
In a cowgirl position on the floor.
Up against a victim of your choice.
In a headstand (EXTREMELY ADVANCED)
The term ‘twerking’ has now been officially added actually to the Oxford English Dictionary. It is said to have originated from the ‘bounce’ hip hop scene in the States about 20 years ago. It makes me sad that it has taken that long to get over here.
Should you Twerk?
I’d not advise using it too early on, i.e. as a ploy to get the bouncers to allow you to queue jump. No matter how hot you think you look, bouncers are pretty much paid to frown upon us and even if they are enjoying it, they will be incapable of smiling. Once inside, judge your surroundings wisely. Is there a stage? Yes? Get on it and do your thing! If not, check out the floor, a beer sodden surface will cause a wider stance to turn into the splits stance even if you’ve never been able to do the splits before in your life.
You may end up stuck in the splits because your body won’t know what the hell’s just happened to it, it will go into lock down mode and there’s your night gone. The frustration will grow as you long to show them all how to fulfil their pelvic potential but are in too much pain from having performed the splits. Careful of broken glass too, then again, artists must suffer for their passions.
Safest to practice at home, record it and put it on YouTube so you know you look good…