WTF! You Unfollowed Me!?
Remember the days when you had a solid group of under ten friends that you actually saw on a regular basis and even quite enjoyed the company of? It was a simpler time and life was easy.
However, the modern world demands that you neglect the outside world and instead focus on seeking the approval and gratification of hundreds of online Facebook ‘friends’ and Twitter ‘followers’. God only knows why we feel under pressure to impress a group of strangers on a daily basis as we desperately struggle to find new ways of promoting our mundane lives through social media.
We of course kid ourselves into believing that we don’t care what others think, so why is it so damn hard to accept when somebody unfollows us!
Unless your networking involves posting daily hilarious updates which somehow manage to consistently appeal to 800 people without fail, there’s a good chance you’re going to piss at least one ‘friend’ off. There is so much internet traffic, your tweets better be good or risk being deemed too boring and effectively removed from others hectic cyber lives.
So what have you done this time? Uploaded a photo with the new girl on the scene, infuriating your ex? Written an insulting personal comment or maybe just tweeted so much crap that even your best buds have seen enough.
Six hashtags is too many! Worst case scenario, you’ve destroyed a deeply personal relationship which can never be repaired, although it’s much more likely that you’re just completely irrelevant to everyone under the sun and probably should just turn off the computer and go live under a bridge.
A few years back, there would’ve been no indication of any ‘unfollowing’ other than noticing a sharp decrease in your numbers after a particularly depressing post. Intriguingly, these days apps such as ‘Find Unfollowers’ offer the chance to discover the specific bastards who have gotten rid of us, a recipe for disaster surely, this can only end in tears.
After recovering from several hours of intense weeping in a corner, the best response here is to kindly return the favour and assume that the delusional unfollower is now officially dead to you with a prompt click on the ‘unfollow’ or ‘defriend’ button. Obviously, if the culprit so happens to be a stranger then this solution is foolproof, should you know the person however, there could well be a very awkward meeting just around the corner. Just try to contain your rage.