You've Successfully Uploaded 40 Half Naked Photos, You're Still Single But Your Friends Are Getting Married... Confused? - Xclusive Touch

You’ve Successfully Uploaded 40 Half Naked Photos, You’re Still Single But Your Friends Are Getting Married… Confused?

You want a man. You need a man. But somehow you just can’t find a man. Posting an endless stream of half naked ‘hot’ selfies in order to attract one is the logical thing to do right?

Time for some harsh truth: you are not Rhianna, you are not an undiscovered supermodel and instagram is not your model agency.

As for your never-ending singleness, the pictures… they’re not helping. Allow me to expand.

What you think people’s reaction to your photo will be:
Britney Spears American Idol Flawless GIF

People’s actual reaction to your photo:
How fucked up are you half naked selfies

Not convinced? Lets dig a little deeper shall we?

Sure, your slutty selfies might be getting a lot of likes, but ‘likes’ don’t always translate into a boyfriend. Surely by now, you should know that better than anyone. Why? Well I’m glad you asked.

You Will Only Attract The Wrong Men
Men won’t care about your amazing personality, if all you ever show them are your perfect boobs. There, I said it! Enough with the “there are no good men” rants. There are plenty of good men… you are just never going to attract them if you market yourself as “hot and up for it”.

Because whilst “hot and up for it” are two of men’s favorite things, I’m not so sure that you’ll ever be considered “wifey” material. I know the plan, win them over with your looks and then make them fall in love with you using your sparkling personality. But it’s too late, he already just sees you are a bit of fun, chances of changing that are slim (but not impossible).

I Take A Lot Of Selfie's pictures slutty gif instagram

Everyone Else:
You Look Ridiculous GIF Funny Angry Selfie

You’re Aiming For “Sexy” But You Just Look Like A Slut
The fundamental principle is, if you look too easy, you’ll attract the wrong kind of man. And maybe the right kind of man too, but they’ll probably still treat you wrong. The reason is simple: you haven’t made him work for it.

Forgive me for quoting a chick flick but: “They’re not gonna want to buy the whole friggin’ ice cream truck when you’re handing out the popsicle’s for free!”

Jennifer Lawrence Award Underwear Black Dress GIF

Everyone Else:
HIMYM how I met your mother barney slut up gif

You’re Not Playing It As Cool As You Think.
Filter or no filter, we can all see that you’re something to look at. Your over the top selfies however are telling a different story. Whilst you’re definitely coming across as a lot of fun, you’re automatically enrolling yourself in the wrong category.

When it comes to dating, men place women in one of 4 categories: 1. Wifey 2. Girlfriend 3. Casual Fun 4. Side Chick. If you don’t want to be classed as 3 or 4, stop uploading porn-star-esque shots of yourself.

Lick Glass Selfie Seductive Funny GIF

Everyone Else:
Steve Carell Why Are You The Way You Are Slutty Selfies GIF

The Dating Game Is Built On Double Standards
Here’s the thing, if a guy uploads 17 topless selfies of himself at the gym, he’s a catch. If a girl uploads 1 half-naked photo of herself, she’s easy. Don’t take it personally, it’s just the way of the world.

My advice? Stop with the side boob pics. You’re not Kim Kardashian or not Heidi Klum. Though you don’t seem to know it, it is possible to upload sexy pictures, without going too far.

And who knows maybe in your next life you’ll come back as a man and all those topless instagram uploads can finally translate into as many girlfriends as you like.

Wink Gif Seductive Slutty Funny Single GIF

Everyone Else:
Slut Tramp Instul Blah Blah Funny Rude GIF

The truth is, you’re not a bad person, you’re just playing it all wrong. You can’t go looking to make friends with sheep whilst dressed as a wolf. Now apply that principle to men. You’re not going to find a husband whilst acting like a bit of fun. 

Of course if it is just a bit of fun you’re after, then carry on. Slutty selfie away, because whilst ‘likes’ don’t translate to boyfriends, they do translate into male attention of the private DM variety. It starts with a little “hey stranger” and leads to you to…well you know.



Have your say