Vin Diesel, please never dance again. - Xclusive TouchXclusive Touch

Vin Diesel, please never dance again.

I’m very, very white. This is a fact that I’ve come to accept, if not embrace, in my time and I have chosen to live my accordingly. This has involved, in equal measure: beanie hats, skinny jeans and a youth spent smoking weed around parks in Staffordshire. There are certainly some things that I would change about the decisions I’ve made in the past.

One thing that I’ll never have to worry about is filming myself dancing to Beyonce and Katy Perry in a vest and camo shorts. Alas, I hate to disappoint but this will never be me.

This very special achievement goes out to the one and only Vin Diesel. It’s been a rough year for Vin with the death of his dear friend, actor Paul Walker, leaving him teary eyed and sad but now he’s dancing! Might I also add, it’s one of the worst dances ever.

For a whole seven minutes, Mr. Diesel shuffles, prances and ambles around his room living room looking like some dude who’s either K-holing or had one Tequila too many.

As a rule, he does stuff like this in his many films…


Or this…


Now, he’s managed to find a bit of down time in between being a silver screen ‘ardman, Vin looks a little bit more like this…

Oh, yes. That is the same guy, make no mistake.

Fortunately, the internet has taken to this momentous happening in a similar fashion to how it usually takes to these things: it has lapped it up. Twitter is a big fan. It’s adorable when the internet comes together to enjoy a drunken celebrity shuffling around their room. The only thing that tends to get more hits are pictures of kittens in teacups or truly messed up shit.

At the time of writing, the video currently has a meagre 56,000 views. If it stays this low I can honestly say that’ll be than Prince William finding out the kid is actually Harry’s. That would probably get far more views; just imagine the memes…

What some of you may be unaware of is that this isn’t the first instance that Diesel’s dodgy dancing has seen the light of day…

Vin Diesel break dancing: you’re welcome. Given the list of carefully outlined pieces of choreography that the narrator points out, you’d expect some flashier moves surely? Oh, well. Maybe we’ll all be treated to some sick moves in the upcoming fourth instalment of the “Chronicles of Riddick” series? Personally, I can’t tell what’s worse; Vin’s dancing or Riddick. I’ll leave that to your very capable hands…

Ultimately, I think we can all agree that if you’re going to choose to dance (badly) to a song or artist, then it’s a rash decision to choose Beyoncé just 3 days after she performed at the Grammys. Come on, Vin. Up your game, mate.





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