A Website Is Offering To Pay To Film Peoples Sex Faces
Ever heard of Beautiful Agony? It’s the website said to have come to change the face of internet porn. It uploads videos of everyday people who are bold (or crazy) enough to film their faces while climaxing and then put it out there for the world to see.
But before you get all excited, just know this. There’s no boobs, no bums, no six-packs – just faces.
Beautiful Agony is no ordinary porn site. In fact, the word “porn” is a no-no for these guys who are on a mission to bring to surface the deepest and most poetic side of rubbing one out. And if you want to get your five minutes of fame through them, they’ll even pay you $200!
Does it sound too good/ creepy to be true? Well, it is. Because Beautiful Agony doesn’t just have class, it also has high standards – so high, it makes you wonder: are the snapshots on their homepage those of people climaxing or those of people grimacing as they scroll down the “Submit your Agony” page.
It’s not porn, people, it’s art, and you’ll have to suffer for it. And if you don’t believe me, see for yourselves.
Forget low-budget, you’re going pro:
You might be getting $200 dollars to compensate for the public humiliation (and the fact that your dad might also be a subscriber to the site) but you’ll need to spend twice as much to get it right. Read it and weep.
You only climax (at least) twice.
I mean, cum on!
Shoot It Right:
If it sounds tricky, don’t despair. Just call Martin Scorsese to film it for you – it might turn out to be easier than doing it yourself.
“Full face no nudity, preferably from the point of view above (or in front of) your nose. An easy way to achieve this is to set up a tripod and lie underneath”. There we go. The instructions couldn’t get simpler than that. Now, anyone happen to have a spare tripod lying around?!
Sunlight, cum-era, action!
After that, your neighbors will be praying for a sunny day for all the wrong reasons.
No Vibrators, I’m afraid.
Save on make-up and accessories!
Beautiful Agony wants the real you, but the real you must be what they want it to be, dude.
A little more conversation a little less action, please.
After your beautiful agony is over you’ll have to submit yourself another form of agony: pillow talk. Alone. And pillowless. What’s more natural than talking to a (Hi Definition) camera for 15 minutes, right?
If you though that would be an easy buck, now you know. Applying for NASA might be somewhat less challenging, let alone demanding.
I swear, I’m not making this up.