Gen Y All Pictures No Action: Stop Uploading Selfies, They’re Probably The Reason You’re Still Single
We are all secretly a little bit obsessed with Instagram. Instagram is basically just Twitter for the illiterate and you never have to worry about not having enough to say.
We love boasting about our pretentious lives or at the very least making it look like we have an amazing life; be it the food we eat, the places we visit and the clothes we wear (and more importantly don’t wear). You see, the snaps a girl chooses to share, say a lot about her and specifically about her current relationship status and messy dating history.
So when it comes to Instagram flirting, this is what her pictures mean:
1) If she takes more photos of her cat than anything else:
She is fed up of going on dates that go nowhere so now takes comfort in the company of her cat, who never disappoints her. She is taking a break from dating and is totally disinterested in all things boy-related. Don’t even attempt to chat her up, she doesn’t want to hear it.
2) If she is always taking photos in the club:
She wouldn’t miss a Friday or Saturday night amongst the crowd, trying to search for the one while she is tries to forget about the ar**hole who broke her heart.
All of her photos are in the VIP area of various clubs, always looking her best. She has countless selfies with attractive people who she barely knows the name of, just in case her ex stumbles across them.
She won’t be interested in you unless you are unbearably good looking.
3) If she snaps her progress in the gym…
She is always trying to look her best, and wants boys to notice how her squats are paying off. She is searching for the perfect abs to match her perfect butt. She has probably had boyfriends in the past that have told her she isn’t hot enough and now she is trying to rectify that by lifting her baggage in the gym.
She is only interested in people who can carry her, emotionally and physically, despite all her muscle definition.
4) If she takes photos of everything that goes in her mouth…
This girl could probably do with going out more. Somewhere other than a restaurant.
She is currently going through the ‘getting over’ someone stage and is putting all her focus into cooking and eating at recommended restaurants. She isn’t currently interested in dating anyone, but is having lots of date nights with her girlfriends. All her plates look immaculate and she takes pride in her restaurant-level home cooking.
The way to this girls heart is by cooking her a mouthwatering meal with a large glass of wine to accompany it.
5) If she takes photos of everywhere she has been…
She is well traveled and loves sharing the places she has visited. This has an underlying meaning though; she is trying to forgot about her messy relationships and trying to find love within new culture and from meeting new people.
She isn’t going to be interested in you unless your passport has been stamped more than hers and you have a new adventure story to tell her.
6) If she uploads photos of her hopes and dreams…
She is still searching for her Prince Charming and she wants nothing less than perfection. This is the kind of girl who has a check list (a long one at that). She wants all her hopes and dreams to come true and she won’t stop looking until she finds it. This is usually epitomised by inspirational quotes.
This girl will be interested in you if you inspire her and fulfill her Prince Charming checklist.
7) If she loves #throwbackthursday…
She posts #tbt, everyday of the week. She loves to live in the past and she has never really gotten over her first love when she was 18.
This girl will never be satisfied unless you are her ex-boyfriend or a clone of him.
Alternatively she was much hotter a year or two ago that she is now and #tbt is a great way to show her attractiveness off to the world without anyone questioning why she hasn’t uploaded a single recent picture of herself in months.
8) If she uses #all #the #hashtags…
She wants to be noticed, and her heart beats to the click of a like. She hashtags everything, all in the name of trying to get recognised.
She will only take an interest in you if you start clicking that little heart on her Instagram.
9) If her Instagram is of thousands of selfies…
Her whole profile is of herself and literally nothing else. She loves the way she looks and thinks everyone else does as well. She shares photos of her trying on new clothes, what she is going to wear it with and then where she wore it. She has more selfies than Picasso but, unlike him, they all look the same and are on every social media medium.
You will literally never be good enough for this girl as she wants adoration from the masses not just one person.