Why Guys Need To Stop Complaining About The Friend Zone
The dating realm is a tricky one to manoeuvre. Heartbreak lurks around every corner and getting lost means finding yourself in a rotten place where love is platonic. Yes we’re talking ‘Friend Zone’ here, a barren wasteland dreaded by all men. A place where women supposedly send the men they do not ever want to do the nasty with.
Men paint the picture of the friendzone being a prison sentence where the words boy and friend are only ever used with a hyphen between them, a place where there is nothing left for them but to hold a girls’ purse while she is off twerking and catching the attention of guys who are in her words “prime boyfriend material”. Whilst you console yourself with the sweet moments you shared.
To guys stuck in the “friendzone” you seem to only ever go for assholes, whilst all they ever did was “be nice to you”. Well you’re half right. All you ever tried to do was be nice. Being nice doesn’t drop panties.
As much as women will moan about wanting a ‘nice guy’ being nice will never quite cut it. Sure a few of us may have a thing for bad boys, but on the most part the guys we go for aren’t assholes, they’re just playing their cards right.
No, scratch that they’re playing a completely different game to you. It’s time someone said it… guys who claim they are forever trapped in the friend zone need to wake up and smell their own desperation.
They need to realise that there is a reason they are being categorised as friends and that the friend zone isn’t some devilish torture method created by women. It is simply a category for people they like. As friends.
If your go-to move when it comes to seducing the ladies is acting like a friend, you will inevitably be placed in the friend zone. That’s not to say that friends can never become lovers (even if it’s just friends with benefits), but if your sole interest in a girl comes from a desire to get her into bed or even be her boyfriend, then maybe trying to be her friend instead of being honest with her is not a good first step.
We get the method behind the tactic. Talk to her, get her to open up to you, make yourself her go-to person and then BAM make your move. In theory it’s brilliant. In reality you have about a 2 day window to make your move before she gets so comfortable with you, that she begins calling you her BFF and secretly wonders whether it should be GBF.
Sure, she’ll want to hang out with you more, she’ll tell you all about her feelings and her deep, dark secrets and then before you know it she’ll be telling you how amazing in bed the ‘asshole’ she met whilst you were holding her handbag is.
Aaaaaand congratulations! You have descended deep into the caverns underneath the friend zone: the tunnels of gay best friends.
But not to worry, there is no reason for you to wander these halls with the other GBFs. You dug this hole, you can climb out of it. Seriously, it is not rocket science. It’s not about tricks to make a woman fall for you. It’s not acting like a jerk to make a woman desperate for your love. It’s simply being honest.
And, no, the answer may not be what you hoped for but at least now you know. Sure it might not work out and you might be a little upset but remember: just because you’re nice to a girl doesn’t mean she has an obligation to have sex with you.
So just leave your self-entitled attitude at the door. Women are not conniving and conspiring against you by placing you in the friend zone. Either you shouldn’t have acted as her friend if you wanted to be more or she is just not that into you bro.
The fact that she is honest about her feelings for you does not make her a bad person. So, instead of stewing in your self-pity and loathing this girl you claimed to be “nothing but nice to” get over it and move on. Hell, maybe even learn from your mistakes. Maybe realise that expecting a girl to have fall for you just because you are a nice guy means that she will see you as just that, a nice guy. It may be a step out the comfort zone but next time actually ask her out instead of going via the friendship route and then wondering why you got stuck there.
Perhaps even consider that it’s stupid resenting a girl that cares for you as a friend and remains blissfully unaware of your feelings because you refuse to share them.