Things No Man Should EVER Say To A Girl On Her Period - Xclusive Touch
Raging Bitch Woman On Period Things Not To Say Gif

Things No Man Should EVER Say To A Girl On Her Period

Periods. What is the actual point of them? Personally I would be happy with a monthly “congratulations you’re not pregnant” text. But since the universe has decided that we’d be better off riding the crimson wave every month (throwing some cramps and weight gain in for good measure) we reserve the right to be pissed off about it.

For one week of every month we will bitch, we will moan and we will elbow you in the face if you so much as whisper one of the following:

“Why You Acting Like A Bitch For?”
Raging Bitch Woman On Period Things Not To Say Gif

1. We have to deal with an unending crime scene in our pants on a monthly basis for the next 30+ years of our lives.

2. At the end of those years we get to celebrate the end of our periods with hot flushes, mood swings, old age and general dried-up-ness.

3. In the mean time we get to listen to men bitch about our periods like it’s a bigger inconvenience for them than it is for us.

Are they good enough reasons for you?!

“What’s The Big Deal?”
No Uterus No Opinion Friends Rachel Joey Jennifer Anniston GIF

Imaging being kicked in the nuts, followed by a solid week of bleeding, EVERY MONTH. TILL THE END OF TIME (well, sort of). In fact how about we try it on you and then you can tell us what the big deal is?

“Weren’t You On A Diet?”Tina Fey Pizza No Diet On Period Food Gif Funny

Well we either eat our feelings or we take them out on you. These are the only two options. Now either pass us the dough balls or experience our wrath.

“Are You Done Bleeding Yet?”
Mean Girls Period Funny Ginger Heavy Flow GIF

Well no… we fancied letting this one run for a few extra days, but if you’re not keen on the idea, we’ll just stick a cork in it.

“You Women Are Such Drama Queens”
Women Angry Excuse Period New Girl Funny Period GIF

Tread carefully. It’s saying things like that which help us get off with the temporary insanity plea. That’s not a threat, you should just be aware that being on our period genuinely makes us feel slightly murderous whilst also craving hot cocoa and cookies at the same time.

“Are You Not Going To Put On Real Clothes Today?”
Pyjamas Pink PJs gif funny period pockets

If Tesco will allow me to buy Tampons in my onesie, then my onesie counts as socially acceptable attire and I will keep wearing it until further notice.

“I Might Give Tonight A Miss Then Babe…”
Jesse J Leave Me Alone Women On Period GIF

Oh really. Reeealllllllly. We mentioned that we’re on our period and suddenly you don’t want to see us anymore? Very original. Scumbag boyfriend of the month award goes toooooo… you.

“Why Are You Crying?”
New Girl Hysterical Crying Gif Funny Period

Well, our ovaries feel like a fat person is sitting on them, the only knickers that will fit resemble something our grandmothers would wear and for the next 5 days we can’t sit anywhere without then getting up and checking for blood stains before walking off.

Heaven forbid we visit a friend and discover they have a white sofa. Let me ask you… have you ever tried to drink tea while squatting over a sofa that you’re PRETENDING to sit on, without making any actual butt-to-sofa contact? HAVE YOU?

“What’s Wrong Now?”
Angelia Jolie Tomb Raider Angry Smash Period PMS GIF

People keep asking us stupid questions and it’s making us want to smash things. That’s what.

“Are You Going To Be Like This Every Month?”
Penny PMS Big Gang Theory Whipped Cream Period GIF

Yes. Unless you accidentally get us pregnant. In which case for 9 months we’ll be like this, but fatter.

So, if after our extensive list of things you can’t say, you’re thinking your only option is to avoid us for one week of the month, then you’re wrong.

Here’s What You Should Do:

1. Be Thoughtful
Period Mix Music Natalie Portman Ashton Kutcher No Strings Attached GIF

2. Bring Cake
Give Woman Cake Vanilla Icing Sponge Gif Funny Messy Period Food